languid

things are different now days... sometimes there is joy and enthusiasm and sometimes you just go thru the motions. there isn't anything wrong it's just not right. there is the frustration, the angst, the disaffected unsatsified clench in all that is.

the fucking gold ring is so far away and just out of reach. then another ring, and another... happy alone. wnating together. got a good thing and that's not enough. got a bunch of good things.

people fall in love with me just not the one's i fall for. the grass is always greener and fucking wild turkey 101 is all that needs to be. too bad when the oblivion hits the next thing you know is there is less than there was the night before and the fucking pain is everything and the space is bad and the feeling is low down dirrty shame. fo rwhat and nothing. there is no escape in escapism.

i want something that makes me feel whole and nto just gets me by and keeps me warm.

so you gotta pay some dues and what do you get but some stories and the same shit as everybody else. what happened to the magic that was there.

it is there when the guitar sings. sometimes it is there after, when it is dark and close. it is all so temporary. where is the fucking shine that takes you thru the dark, the pain and the sadness to the shout, the rock and roll and the wind in the hair?

so we search, look and learn some more and then what? whatever....

i still love what i can get.