lamoustache

So I'm sitting here while my spaghetti cooks. Sitting here and thinking.

No, not thinking about the spaghetti. Thinking about an opporunity that was presented to me earlier today.

BACKSTORY!

I'm an Assistant Manager at a shitty retail store, and it pretty much sucks hard. I started out as a regular cashier-dude, and then the then-Assistant Manager got shitcanned. So, by process of elimination, I became the new Assistant Manager. And it's been okay. I mean, I hate the job, but the people who I work with are pretty great. They're pretty much the only reason I've stayed there for so long. It's a nice, comfortable place to work and (up until recently), I didn't have to worry about my piercings and whatnot.

I've been doing the Assistant Manager thing for a while now, and I don't really make super duper money. Around eight and a half bucks an hour, forty hours a week. It all goes quickly (the money, that is - the forty hours drag like a snail crawling across fly paper).

So I get to work today and my manager starts asking me strange questions. Questions that point to the idea of me running things around there sometime in the future. This is something that had come up a couple of weeks ago, but I didn't really think anything of it - it pretty much seemed like she was asking me rhetorical questions.

But today, she let me know that all questions were no longer rhetorical. She's moving to Florida on August 4, and the store will be needing a new Store Manager.

She doesn't think that two of the people working will stay there if a new, shitty person comes in. And I wouldn't want to, either. I'd start looking for a new job, ANY job, immediately. If I'm going to be working under some whip-cracking, bull-headed tyrant, I'm not going to be working there for very long.

So what are the options? Let a new person come in and most likely create great unrest amongst the employees? Or do I step in and become Store Manager, which will in turn keep all of the employees happy while also netting me an hourly rage with two digits before the decimal, and twelve extra hours a week?

But twelve extra hours? Ugh.

If I only get bumped up to ten dollars an hour and work 52 hours a week, then I'll be making $520 before taxes. I currently make about $330 before taxes, which gets knocked down to around $270. So this is a nice increase.

I already hate the work that I do. It's so mundane and makes me feel useless as a human. Stocking shelves so people can buy things, only for me to stock them again and sell the items and stock and sell and stock and sell and sell and sell.

I'm a drone. I'm a robot. No, a cyborg, I guess. A full-robot wouldn't have such classic good looks and a righteous moustache.

Anyway.

I'm probably going to take it. Take it and begin to look for another job immediately. Finish up my demo reel and send my resume to the.... ugh... fucking three places in town that actually deal with media work. Depressing, it is, that there are so few places to do creative production work in this town.

It just feels so weird to think about. That I will be running a store. That I will be in control of these peoples work-lives. That I will be the one hiring and firing. And, trust me, I'll be doing some firing straight away.

I don't know... it just feels so strange that I'll be running something, I think. Something that actually... you know, sort of matters? That if I screw it up, I screw a lot of people. That if I run things into the ground, I'm making a mess for a lot of people.

But what's the difference, really? I'm just running a store. It's just buying and selling. It's just entrances and exits. It's just cash and change. Refunds and exchanges. Sales and clearances. Openings and closings.

I can probably do that, right? I can probably run one store in a nation-wide chain of stores, right? I ran a radio station for a year once, and I did pretty well with that. I've run lots of things and have always been a good leader, able to motivate people. But that was in school. And with things that I care about.

Can I lead and motivate people at a job that I don't even want?

Or can I just suck it up and think about how sweet the paychecks are going to be?

Can I shelve my own happiness to keep a shit job just so I can have some (read: a bunch) of extra money in my pocket?

How long can a person remain miserable at work before they break and flip out?

It's not like I'm signing a contract to work there for the rest of my life. If I hate it (well, hate it more than I already do), I can just find a new job and quit.

I guess my happiness has a price tag on it. But we'll see if it turns out to be a regularly stocked item or if it's just a seasonal good.

But they can kiss my ass if they expect me to wear that ridiculous collared shirt.


stop. take some time to think. figure out what's important to you.