scariest experience of my life last night.
Some background info: I saw a psychiatrist on monday, got some supposedly "tame" meds for general anxiety. So I immediately started having all the bad side effects such as difficulty sleeping (felt like I was on coke), restlessness, and higher anxiety. The doc told me they should go away after the 1st week but....
Last night I was feeling fine, watching tv eating some ice cream when I panicked. My whole body became REEAAALLY hot and tingly in a way I have never experienced, I felt a little dizzy and short of breath, and I immediately knew, (from being a pscyh student) that I was having an intense panic attack. I had never experienced anything like this before and I cant describe the horrible feeling that I will die at any moment. My heart was thumping so loud I could hear it! I didnt feel my pulse since that wouldve made me freak out even more. So I tried my best to calm down, which I thought would work since I knew that the moment should pass, and that I wont die. That knowledge did nothing for me because this intense panic lasted for an hour --- my body was convulsing, my leg muscles were twitching all over the place and I really wondered whether or not I was having some kind of a seizure. This scared me to death, and I tried so hard, with the help of my bf, to calm down, with fans, wet towels, breathing, positive thoughts, etc. When that didnt help is when I decided, despite the outrageous amount of $ we would have to pay, that it was time to call an ambulance. I couldnt move out of my bed. My legs were shaking so bad I had no coordination. It was a challenge to get my feet on the floor because they were out of control.
For a brief moment, I started feeling better, and was able to walk out to the ambulance, but after that, for the next 2 hours, it was just a back and forth rollercoaster of panic. I would calm down, feel relieved to be done with it, and then I would feel that tingly heat come over me again. It was hard being alone most of the time in the hospital. I know I was the last priority, they described my case as "probably just some anxiety" Im sorry but PANIC ATTACK would be the correct term. With all the descriptions of panic attacks that Ive heard, I never knew how frightening it could be, and apparently neither do many doctors. So anyway they gave me new meds, which is what the psychiatrist should have given me in the first place - because its used mainly for anxiety. I was given an SSRI, usually used for depression, and has way worse side effects.
So now Im taking the new meds, which arent strong but make me sleepy, which helps with all this anxiety left over from that horrifying experience. This whole thing has me in shock. Im so scared of having it happen again. I feel psychotic. And I feel overwhelming sympathy for my dad who used to have this happen all the time when I was growing up. And my sister, who also has attacks from time to time, but hopefully not as long lasting as mine was. Can I just have my freakin brain rewired?! Fuck!
perfect timing right before my 21st birthday
and now I have to explain it to all of my professors so my grades dont suffer
Some background info: I saw a psychiatrist on monday, got some supposedly "tame" meds for general anxiety. So I immediately started having all the bad side effects such as difficulty sleeping (felt like I was on coke), restlessness, and higher anxiety. The doc told me they should go away after the 1st week but....
Last night I was feeling fine, watching tv eating some ice cream when I panicked. My whole body became REEAAALLY hot and tingly in a way I have never experienced, I felt a little dizzy and short of breath, and I immediately knew, (from being a pscyh student) that I was having an intense panic attack. I had never experienced anything like this before and I cant describe the horrible feeling that I will die at any moment. My heart was thumping so loud I could hear it! I didnt feel my pulse since that wouldve made me freak out even more. So I tried my best to calm down, which I thought would work since I knew that the moment should pass, and that I wont die. That knowledge did nothing for me because this intense panic lasted for an hour --- my body was convulsing, my leg muscles were twitching all over the place and I really wondered whether or not I was having some kind of a seizure. This scared me to death, and I tried so hard, with the help of my bf, to calm down, with fans, wet towels, breathing, positive thoughts, etc. When that didnt help is when I decided, despite the outrageous amount of $ we would have to pay, that it was time to call an ambulance. I couldnt move out of my bed. My legs were shaking so bad I had no coordination. It was a challenge to get my feet on the floor because they were out of control.
For a brief moment, I started feeling better, and was able to walk out to the ambulance, but after that, for the next 2 hours, it was just a back and forth rollercoaster of panic. I would calm down, feel relieved to be done with it, and then I would feel that tingly heat come over me again. It was hard being alone most of the time in the hospital. I know I was the last priority, they described my case as "probably just some anxiety" Im sorry but PANIC ATTACK would be the correct term. With all the descriptions of panic attacks that Ive heard, I never knew how frightening it could be, and apparently neither do many doctors. So anyway they gave me new meds, which is what the psychiatrist should have given me in the first place - because its used mainly for anxiety. I was given an SSRI, usually used for depression, and has way worse side effects.
So now Im taking the new meds, which arent strong but make me sleepy, which helps with all this anxiety left over from that horrifying experience. This whole thing has me in shock. Im so scared of having it happen again. I feel psychotic. And I feel overwhelming sympathy for my dad who used to have this happen all the time when I was growing up. And my sister, who also has attacks from time to time, but hopefully not as long lasting as mine was. Can I just have my freakin brain rewired?! Fuck!
perfect timing right before my 21st birthday
and now I have to explain it to all of my professors so my grades dont suffer
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!
I'm sorry to hear about your horrible experience. I've taken so many strange drugs for anxiety and depression that I can't tell you how many times I've had the same problems. Currently I'm on Celexa, which is working great for me. Hydroxyzine was BAAAD, and so was Zoloft. If you find someone to re-wire your brain, let me know, I desperately need it too. I hope you're feeling better love...
xoxo
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