For starters, I really would like to thank everyone (Members, Hopefuls, and Suicide Girls) that have shown their support for me and my modeling by liking/commenting on my posts, leaving me love on my sets, following me, etc. You all are such amazing positive influences in my life, and words can't even describe my appreciation for each and every one of you! You are all my family.
With that being said, I'd like to talk about something sort of in relation.
I should start out by saying that for as long as I can remember, I've had crippling social anxiety that has only gotten worse as the years go by. It's hard for me to do a lot of things because of it, but the biggest problem I've struggled with for most of my life is making friends. It's not like I'm a nasty person or anything like that, in fact, I'd like to think of myself as the opposite. I'm always nice to people, and honestly the only times I've ever been mean to individuals is when they wrong me in an extremely big/hurtful manner; and I don't really think that's unfair of me, because if someones not giving me any respect, why should I give them any of my respect? But the point is, I don't actively try to hurt or put down others. I also always give people the benefit of the doubt, and I don't let other peoples opinions on a person influence my opinions of a person (especially people I don't know well).
The problem is, I'm very awkward about meeting new people. I get severe anxiety from it that has no base in fact or logic whatsoever. I also always assume people just don't like me from right off the bat, even when there is no evidence to prove that true.
I've been in the SG community since 2015. But I came to the realization recently that I'm not really "apart" of the community, because my social anxiety has inhibited me from even trying to make lasting/good connections with SG Photographers, Hopefuls, or Suicide Girls.
But I'm done being afraid. Because I know how amazing this community is, I know how great the people are, and I know that there's nothing to be afraid of.
A few months ago I acted on an idea (after speaking to SG Admins) that I've had for over a year now. And that idea was to create and host my own shootfest, A Hopefuls Only Shootfest in Brooklyn that is going to be taking place in May. Everyone was so excited to hear about it, and we have Hopefuls and SG Photographers coming in from literally all over the world to attend!
Not only is that shootfest happening, but I also got invited to a shootfest in Toronto in August, and I'm hoping to also be able to attend shootfests in Ohio, Australia, and Paris this year!! I'm finally getting myself out there more in the community, and words cannot explain how flipping supportive, amazing, and lovely everyone has been. What was I so scared of?! 2018 WILL be my year!
With that being said, I'd like to personally thank some people.
I'd like to first thank @auriastorm. When I posted on a thread in the SG Canada Shootfest regarding Hopeful multi sets, I was terrified that no one was going to respond or want to shoot with me. But this lovely lady loved my multi idea (that I will keep secret until it's been shot) and jumped at the opportunity to not only shoot with me, but to be my friend. She's amazing and beautiful and I'm so thankful that I'm going to get to meet her!
Next, I would like to thank each and every lovely Hopeful that are going to be attending the shootfest I'm hosting. @chalk @psypher @maleh @mixi @paramite @enigmasuicide @_silphco @maudlin @orale @torro @daydream @gypsywolf @xuxa, you have all collectively made my dream come true. You've all been more than supportive, understanding, kind, and all around wonderful. I honestly cannot friggin' wait to meet each and every one of you and make some magic!! You all inspire me so much!
And of course, I'd also like to thank the SG Photographers that will be attending my shootfest. @cersei, @madnessphotography, @just_sick @psypher @beepo87 @thirdeyeoptix, this shootfest would not be possible without you! You guys are some of the most talented people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I was so scared that no photographers were going to want to come, but you guys jumped at the opportunity and also helped make my dream come true. I am so thankful for all of you!!
(plus an extra thank you to @madnessphotography for spreading the word about my shootfest and getting so many people interested! Seriously, thank you so much!!!)
Next, I would like to thank some specific Suicide Girls. @arachnie @fresa @starbomb and @nebula, I want to thank you so much for showing me support by liking/commenting on my sets/Instagram posts. The fact that you gorgeous women even give me the time of day make me happier than you could even imagine. I look up to you all so much, and everything you do inspires me to no end! Also I'd like to thank @vorpal for her constant support of each and every Hopeful, and for dedicating so much time and energy into the Hopeful Suicide Girls Instagram account. She made a platform where we could all be featured, she is a stunning and truly wonderful lady, and I am so thankful for everything she has done!
Lastly, I want to thank the Members of SG. You are all so positive and encouraging and flattering (I could go on), and this website would not be where it is now without each and every one of you. You are all truly spectacular people, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love and support.
Thank you all for reading my ramblings, and I hope you all have a lovely day!
