lafayetteproulx

I'm under the impression that no one really reads this (Not like I'm writing for an audience anyway), but as you notice even that thought doesn't keep me from writing.

So I went to lunch with my mom at the almighty IHOP. I had about three bites of chicken strips because my appetite is in such disarray after the past week. Between diet and stress my body is pissed.

So we were talking about things, the whole grand scheme of things that's going on lately. My mom has always been heavily invested in my writing. Maybe because she thinks it's the only chance I'll have of doing anything profitable. We talked about my latest story you should have read already (Go one post back and feel ashamed). We talked about how one of the things I love about writing stories is when friends read them and try and pick who in the story is from my life. So here's the spoilers about Playground Pals (That title is definitely changing). There really was a Tara, she was my playground girlfriend in kindergarten but it was the school playground, no parents around just teachers. We met over our fascination with the grasshoppers that were everywhere around there. Our brief childhood relationship ended when I wasn't watching my step and squashed on of them. She never forgave me, and unlike the boy in the story, I never forgot. The adults are no one in particular, some of Will's thoughts are ones I thought while taking my friend's son to the park. The female is fictional, no matter what anyone says.

Anyway, I digress. My mom and I talked about two dreams I had last night. Two insanely bad dreams. The first, I'm in a car, presumably my car. I'm in the passenger seat, my dad is driving, my mom is in the backseat behind me. There's a spider, a bright blue spider, dangling from the rear view mirror. I start freaking out, clutching the seat, trying to find anything to squash the bug. When I turn around and look at it again it's larger, and still growing. Eventually it starts to grow into a lizard like thing, my parents are totally oblivious to what's going on. It drops from the mirror and falls for my lap. I jump in my dream. I also jump in real life and wake up on my floor, extremely weirded out.

Dream #2. By some crazy how-or-other I win two mansions. Two identical mansions, right next door to each other. Here's something about my dreams, I have an actual girl of my dreams. A recurring, as far as I know, made up woman. She was in this dream, but usually she's younger, but in this dream it was unmistakably the same woman except this time she was older, like late 40's. Someone sets both of the mansions on fire and I'm running frantic looking for this woman. I find her in a room, we kiss, flames all around us. I wake up again (This is after the spider dream) and decide I should not be sleeping at all.

According to my mom dream #1 mostly has to do with my parents inability to notice what's going on with me. I'm freaking out while a spider grows in front of me and they act like nothing is happening. Do I have parent issues? Apparently only in my sleep.

My mom liked dream #2, only because I let slip about the recurring girl in my dreams (She's been recurring for over a year now, and this is her first appearance in months). My mom believes this girl is real and will one day produce beautiful grandchildren. I also think that being burned alive in a romantic embrace is...painful, and I want none of it.

What do you think about my dreams non-existent people who are not reading this?
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I took off work tomorrow because I was going to do an experiment for my novel. I was going to drive my car in a random direction until it ran out of gas. In the novel a man suffers a nervous breakdown, leaves everything behind, empties half of his bank accounts (Leaving the other half for his as-of-recently ex-wife), and drives his car in a random direction until it runs out of gas, walks to the nearest town and decides to live there.

Well what would make someone do that? Not losing your job, not even infidelity. Not even both of them together. Today I figured it out, what would make and adult want to run away? Memories, people. Here's how I figure it, my entire dating life, and the majority of my friendships have all happened in Memphis. Anything significant in my life happened here. Who hasn't wanted to run away from their memories, to go somewhere far far away and start fresh? Well that's what he does, and that's why he does it, but in the novel it'll be in a whole lot more words.

Anyway, back to the point. I took off to, for once, have a day off of work that doesn't involve a whole lot of stress. This is where my friends come in. When I told them my idea, they wanted to come with me, not so much asking, but more of inviting themselves, telling he how cool an impromptu roadtrip will be (Maybe the guy in the novel is running away from his friends as well). So I told them the trip is off, since I already figured out my problem anyway and don't need to waste my gas. There will be plenty more time for road trips.

Another friend wants to hang out all day, starting at 8am on a Saturday, on my day off. He wants to hang out all day, into the night. I can think of no one I would be able to do that with. He wants to sit around all day and play video games, which would have been perfect for me...two years ago. I can think of a dozen things I want to do tomorrow that don't involve video games, and you know what? I'm going to try and get them done.

It's going to take some finesse, but tomorrow is going to be stress free...for the most part. There's no escaping the unexpected.

For now I'm going to try and sleep, and not have any horrible dreams of giant bugs or burning houses (But more dreams of kissing dreamy women, I want more of those!)