ladychaos

Well, I was both right and wrong about us getting closer over the trip. The two weeks that followed were nice. We talked all the time, lots of sexting. We even joined Edenfantasy, to review sextoys together to get free ones. Things were going great, and he asked to "take things further." I was pretty excited, but still hesitant. Considering the other times that I had brought it up (only twice in 8 months, but still.) I agree that I'd like more than just friends+, and we're both pretty happy about it. Listed on facebook and all that.

Three days later, he changes his mind. It was too drastic of a change or something, he felt suddenly tied down. And that we have no future, so there's no real point. I was kinda broken up about it, only because he got my hopes up about starting a relationship just to crush the idea. I feel like thats a special kind of cruel.

This was two nights ago, I haven't talked to him since. Which is the longest span of time we haven't talked. I don't really know what to do with myself. I suppose I'm terrified of being alone. Even when we were just friends with bennies, there was a certain consistency. And so many things are changing right now. I'm starting at a new school on monday. My best friend is moving away tomorrow. Sigh. I haven't felt this out of place since I was 14.