So I have been thinking since yesterday. I got news yesterday that my closest friend lost his step dad. Now his stepdad was a really nice guy, one of the nicest people I have ever met, I mean yes I only met him for two weeks but he is somebody I don't think I will ever forget. They say that you're supposed to meet people in your life that touch your heart or somebody you remember for years. But it also got me thinking, what would happen if I succeeded in doing something stupid? I've already tried once already. I mean yes I suffer from major mental issues but that isn't the point i'm getting at. How would he feel if I succeeded in doing it? He has already helped me plenty of times. I'm not sure how he felt when I did it back then and thinking back to then it was a stupid idea. I still don't know why I did it. All I know is that I asked for help. and he stayed up most of the night with me. (my ex did absolutely nothing here to help me mind you). But another variable with the problems I have is my ex. i still can play the night in my head. I still think it came to a surprise to us both. Anyways back to my original thought. A good man was lost. He touched the people he met in a certain way. May he rest in peace.