Hey there hi there, Lady here. I don't normally share my opinions in long blog posts, but when I do it's like right now in this blog post. I've been around for a bit, and every once in a while I notice an upswing in negativity, a down-swing in overall sisterhood, and a forgetfulness of what it means to be grateful for the opportunities we are given. I've seen other ladies over the years post little reminders like this, and I hope it comes across as uplifting and makes everyone feel a little better, as it's intended to do. so! To get things started I think we all need to remember:
- One girls success is NOT at another girls expense, One girls success is NOT another girls failure.
One set being bought does not effect whether or not they bought the other. If they want to buy a set- they will! We should be excited for our fellow ladies successes, not jealous of the fruits of their labor. We should also remember:
-There is a photographer behind every set bought, the set is their work.
Whether it be less hearts, insta-pinking, inactivity, whatever the case, perhaps it's just a damn good set and deserved to be bought! Or perhaps it's possible impact for good is greater and more important than the model's inactivity. Whatever the case, a set is more than just the girl in the pictures.
-Life isn't always fair, it rarely is, and of course in every area of life there will be people who are 'more successful' than others.
I'm sure everyone else on Michael Jordan's basketball team wished they could be the star themselves (I know nothing about sports haha but I'm sure you get the metaphor). But not everyone can be Michael Jordan, and that's okay, that's a good thing. If everyone was the best there would be no best. As a member of that team you could choose to be jealous of him, to be angry, or you could choose to be inspired by him; happy to have had the opportunity to play on the same team as someone so amazing. I'm no modeling Michael Jordan around these parts, I've had 2 sets of the day out of like 12-14 sets (I'm not sure how many anymore) and I don't care! I don't care it took years and 9 tries, because I'm a fucking SUICIDE GIRL! I was on the fucking fp of this website! Holy shit! I'm def not as pretty as most of the girls with more sets of the day than me, and they deserve them! and I'm happy to just be on the team (and coach calls me off the bench every one a while haha). which brings me to...
- It's all about perspective!
Girls who are pink: remember when you were never on the front page? Most of us can remember a time when we were the ugliest duckling we knew, a weirdo, a strangling eyeing the front page of this website like a giant shiny diamond we thought we could never attain ourselves. And we did! And then we forgot how amazing it was because now were here. So now this is new normal, and now I expect sets bought, WRONG. Rewind to a time when you just wanted to try, when you were grateful just to have a place to express yourself, remember how FUCKING EXCITED that girl would be whenever you find yourself feeling down about not re-attaining fp.
Hopefuls: Hoping to turn pink is the dream and of course we all want to, but it isn't the same journey for everyone. Sometimes it takes years, tons of sets, and growing community support. Sometimes it's just a matter of shooting the right set, or staff seeing your set. I always tell girls not to take down their sets after 90 days because often sets get purchased well after that. There are so many! give them time to find you. Nothing is more unfortunate than a girl leaving before her time, but if you aren't willing to do the work it takes for you to achieve your goal then you never will. Not everyone has to do the same amount of work to accomplish the same task, back to the Michael Jordan reference- I'm sure it was easier for him to find a team. My advice is never give up. If you really want this and you feel ignored, be like a thorn in their side! But a pleasant one haha. I just mean stick around, research photographers, turn in good work and eventually it will be recognized, it was for me :) Don't complain and hate on other girls who succeed before you with less effort or what-have-you, it doesn't matter! Her success in not your failure, they are completely separate stories.
All Ladies: I think it's important to remember there are so many sets in MR nowdays (I do find myself agreeing with those who feel we should somehow remedy this problem in another way than just speeding up the queue, but it's a complicated issue). Thanks to recent changes now twice as many girls get to have fp every year, which is awesome! But that number is still much lower than the total number of sets that get submitted so there is just no way for every girl to have her set bought. There are a bunch of good sets that never get bought simply because there probly aren't even enough hours in the year if you had a fp every hour (which would be outrageous haha). Always keep in mind no one guaranteed you success. Any success you've had, joyous experiences, friends you've met, opportunities offered by this crazy place we should remain grateful to, those were never promised, they were all gifts. Rewards!
Also just to note- with all the sets now it's normal to have less <3's on your set. It's not SG dying or people not loving you haha, it just moves faster, and less people get online on the weekends and at night, it's just math and time. don't stress! You're amazing <3
-NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT SUPER UPLIFTING PART - WE ARE SG!!!!
SG is a completely submission based website. This place is whatever WE make it. And well, you can't make it anything by giving up. If you're unhappy, be the change you want to see. I hear A LOT about wanting greater representation of body types and a lowering of the gorgeous goddess standard of facial beauty. And here's my opinion on that (dun dun dun, jk haha): Those GORGEOUS girls are still alternative, most of them could never get a 'real' modeling job simply because they're like 5 feet tall and would swim in the clothes like a child in their moms heels. They are gorgeous and deserve to be fp because they got gifted beauty and work to keep it up and we all love viewing it or it wouldn't be so loved. And the super cool thing is, they aren't mutually exclusive! We can have beyond symmetrical faced babes fp fp fp AND a greater representation of girls who don't look like that. Like bulletpoint numero uno, one girls success is not another girls failure. LOVE THE FUCK out of a girls sets if you want to see them fp, blog them, ig them, fb link them, get them in that most loved view of the staff. Write staff and ask them, have you seen this babe?!!! Encourage staff locally to work with her even. Treat it like politics and protest until they read the damn bill hahaha. Which brings me to a super important side point:
-They can't buy what we don't shoot.
I always have and always will work with all types of ladies. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, everyone is a beautiful human who is magically here somehow and deserves to be recognized as just as worthy as anyone else. I'm not delusional, I know every girl isn't destined for instant fp success, some might never make it, but they can't buy what we don't shoot! If super talented people won't work with 'certain body types' or girls who are 'less pretty' they'll never have the high quality work they need to reach fp. And photographers should not be betting their odds on fp based solely on a models looks, they should be making fp worthy Art and making women feel amazing in their bodies. Part of my job is to make women see how beautiful they are and if you have STAFF next to your name you should feel that way too. Most girls never meet SG beyond their experience with us, to them we are their SG experience, and it should be a good one no matter what they look like.
SO! Members! Encourage your fav photographers to work with a wider variety of ladies if that's what you want to see. Encourage SG to recommend photographers to be less selective in the girls they shoot. Literally you can message your fav staff/photog right on this site and let them know how you feel!
Ladies, that goes for you too! <3
I sincerely hope this was positive and encouraging, we really can make this place more what we want, but honestly look around and realize it's pretty fucking awesome already :) <3
<3 Lady
photo by @smashbase
