c'est l'histoire d'un dbut mais aussi celui d'une fin...
il nous faut crire les rgles pour toutes les transgresser...
une par une...
love you guys...learn french
il nous faut crire les rgles pour toutes les transgresser...
une par une...
love you guys...learn french
( era un commento di Albertine momentaneamente loggata in incognito! )
[Edited on Jul 29, 2005 3:53PM]
That time I got seriously injured and survived only due to good medical help in a nearby hospital. The penis could not be rescued however. The shaft with all erectile tissue had to be amputated due to the infection and strong damage. It has been removed completed. No erectile tissue is left. The urethral opening was relocated between scrotum and anus. Only a short piece of the urethra could be saved by the doctors due to strong damage during accident. Also the bladder had been injured. The closing muscle does no longer work well. So I have to go to bathroom often times. All wounds have healed so far. The testicles are working as hormone producers, so that I have not to take hormones externally. My sexual drive hase decreased strongly however after the accident. Erections are no longer possible. Soft massage of my balls etc. is a wonderful experience for me. I am very shy now.
First time in hospital I had a catheder after the surgeries. But after one week I had to lern to use my new pee hole. In the beginning it was very painfull because of wounds. It was difficult to do the job without too much spray. Nowadays I can handle it quite good. Due to the very back location of the opening I have to remove my slags for urinating. I have to sit down for this business of course. Only this way I can pee without spray Nude. I can use the urinal toilet with special pose only. Practically I use the sitting toilet where no one can watch me. Because of strongly reduced capacity of my bladder I have to pee quite often since the accident.
For me the accident was a big change of life. Before that I had been never thinking about such a handicap.
There are so many problems physically and mental. I was 18 yrs old when it happened. At that time I was living with a lovely girlfriend. First time she gave me good support already in hospital and later at home. But after 6 months she went away with another boy.
I had several injuries, also broken legs. But that is all okay now. "Downstairs" some organs had been badly hurt. Testicles (contusion), urethra (rupture, shortened), bladder (rupture) and prostate (removed) got much damage. Errections are no longer possible, there is nothing left to grow and get hard. Only in my dreams I can have it, and it happens. Generally my sex drive has reduced much. I have no more ejaculations. Only from time to time, mostly at night, some liquid is coming out of my pee hole.
In former times I enjoyed sauna and nude swimming. But nowaday I am shy and try to avoid to show my genitals to others. The time in hospital when I got a lot of treatments after the injury was horrible. Many nurses and female doctors saw me.
I am still a human beeing, even without cock. But education of boys from childhood on, gives the a feeling of importance of having a (big) penis. That's why it was a big shock to me.
Now it is 6 years since the accident and I have overcome some shyness.
I try to earn some money to finance my study at university. I found a way which brings good money without much exaustion.
These days I am working in a brothel about 2 days per week. The customers shall be attracted by me as a special freek. I am a dickless man for display there. All my bodyhair is shaved away. I have to stay nude in a closed, empty cage made of steel bars in the lobby of the place. There is no way to hide for me.
Everyone can see me there, the men as well as the whores. Many customers are very curious and come close to the cage and look at me. Especially in the beginning this was extremely humilating to me. Often times I can observe that the men get an errection when seeing me. They then can hardly wait to have girl for their relieve when they watch the empty area above my balls. On the other hand the girls enjoy that I will never be able to screw them. They are very kind to me; even sometimes a girl is coming into my cage and tries to make me horny. That is kind of a show to attract customers. However for me it is quite frustrating because I can only give her a massage with my fingers and my tongue. Sometimes I press my crotch against her clit and imagine to penetrate her vagina. However it is only a dream and everybody can see it.
Another highlight for the guests is when I pee. According to my contract I have to drink two liters of water per hour and I have to urinate in my cage into a glass bowl. I have to squat like a girl because my peehole is located behind my testicles.
Still I am looking for a female, who accepts me as I am.
THE EUNUCH ARCHIVE
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