lackadaisiac

I freaked out around 2am Thursday morning and went to sleep at my moms house. I won't go into specifics about why, but it made me realize I couldn't stay around her if I ever plan to heal. The next day after school I went back and started to pack up my shit. Just stuff that I need to get by, the bare minimum. Books, alcohol, computer, alcohol, clothes and of course...more alcohol. While at Wallmart picking up boxes I decided to by some nutritional supplement in a can. It's called Ensure and after swallowing a one I felt energy that I haven't had since this all started. Later, after a nap, I woke up and was hungry for a change. I ate McDonalds which was really gross but I could feel the food working today when I woke up.

Then work started and it was all down hill after that. I didn't have time to eat so instead I drank two more supplements. It was weird being in that environment. I almost had a couple of panic attacks and I can't explain why. Then, while I was working, Bri showed up to pick up her wallet from a friend. It wasn't seeing her that bothered me but that way it happened sucked. I was setting tables and she walked up and pinched me in my side, right where I'm most ticklish. I yelped and almost dropped to the ground but managed to plant my ass in a chair. It was real funny but it was really sad at the same time. Made me think of all the ways that I can never be close to her again. It kind of bummed me out for the rest of the night. Just didn't want to be around people after that.

I'm better now. At Jeff's place drinking, eating and typing this thing since I have yet to figure out a way to pirate bandwidth from my mothers place. My days usually start high and end low but I can now sleep at night.