l1vingdeadgurl

I am amazing at screwing things up. You would not believe.

I feel sick. Not the kind of sick a medicine can help with.

The time was great while it lasted.

Better sleep than lately, still not great.

She dreams of him and it makes her happy. Happier than she's been in a while. Dreams of his soft hands in her hair, around her to keep her warm. The sunrise come and she is smiling...she rolls over and he is gone, just a figment of her over active imagination. He's a million miles away, sick and...
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My chest hurts and I have that tightness feeling in my chest that a massive panic-then asthma attack could only bring on. Every time this happens it makes me scared to sleep for days. I feel like I need someone to watch me sleep in case I stop breathing. It will be a rough couple of days.
I watched Fargo last night and believe it...
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I fucked up...

I'm sorry...

Crazy
Affected with madness; insane- CHECK
Intensely involved or preoccupied- DOUBLE CHECK
fantastic; strange; ridiculous - Oh Yeah

It is so windy all my fantastical halloween decorations are falling over everywhere.. it looks like shit now.
My doctors visit was wonderful as well. Turns out I am allergic to fleas, and one of the animals has them. So back to the vets we go..

I...
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The drops of rain they fall all over
This awkward silence makes me crazy
The glow inside burns light upon her
I'll try to kiss you if you let me
(this can't be the end)

Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad

Down down down down
Down down down...
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I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have
no choice, no way
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my
family



There comes a time in life where big decisions have to...
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Things are somewhat better today. I didn't O'D on ativan as I was sure I was going to. My nerves were just so bad yesterday...
I have come up with a game plan, which number one involves a new job and number two following through on two of my passions, photography and jewellery. I have a contact in Alberta for the jewelley and I am...
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I think I am high.... My behaviour of the last few months has been inexcusable and I have finally be called out on it. So I took what was left of my Ativan and just hoped it would go away. That this really wouldn't be happening- that I was 19 again and could start all over. My chest hurts from holding in the tears. I...
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