l1vingdeadgurl

Ok I really hate blogs where people bitch and complain constantly but I have to resign myself to participating. I am so fucking beyond pissed off at the world. I hate most people in it and I am tired of walking around with a fake fucking smile on my face. I fucking hate my life, I fucking hate the world and most of all I...
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Apparently I am having a manic episode yet I am not sure why. So I have gathered my creativity back for maybe a day or so until it passes or the medications start working again. Its nice being this way. I am not a crazy manic. I just am overly happy and energetic, which compared to my lethargic, emotionless former self is a nice switch....
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I watched this movie last night I kind of connected with and everyone is going to think I am strange to have done so. The movie was called Tenderness. Its about a teenage girl who is obsessed with a young man who is a psychopath. Once he is released from prison she finds him and works her way into his life, eventually going on a...
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It's becoming increasingly difficult to find things to write about, especially since my mess make about as interesting as a bag of hammers. I do know one thing, life isn't easy, even for those of us who think it should be, or those of us who pray to a higher power. My feelings on God are mixed at best, I can't believe someone who loves...
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There's a light up there tonight
That shines a lady golden bright
I long to wait for you and I
It's over now, I know it's always

And I know you so you know me
But us remains impossible
And I know you know that I ain't me
So us remains impossible



Well there ain't nothin' to this but your daughter
And the life you...
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I am tired. Tired of being the one to apologize, to compromise, to trade in my beliefs to keep the reverence of peace among us. 10 years is a long time and it has worn down my soul to the point of me not being me anymore. Who you know is not who you would have known 10 years ago. I am tired of being...
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Some days your the fly and some days your the winshield

In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

and my all time favorite...

I hate the way you talk to me / And the way you cut your hair. / I hate the way you drive my car. / I...
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Drunk mobile blogging, probably not the best idea,. I have been up since 3am and finished a bottle of southern comfort to myself.
So what if I am being self destructive? Ever fucking man I fall in love with decides there is "no chemistry" and wants to be just friends. Fuck friends! At this point in my life I have so many friends I don't...
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So I have spent a good part of the morning crying. Over everything and anything in particular.Mostly because I have been feeling severely rejected by the people I care about most. In fact I think I have been rejected my whole life. My husband says things work out the way they should in the end. I called him a fucking liar and that the whole...
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I find I do my best writing when I am high. Not sure why this is, could be beacause my imagination becomes more vivid and colorful. My english skills lack though when I am high and this is one of my pet peeves. (poor spelling).
I dreamnt last night I was with him and we were making snow angels, he told me he was dying....
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