IRONY: an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.
Next the definition of:
FREEDOM : the power to determine action without restraint.
There is a purpose.....they tie together.
I have not had Freedom- the definition of it posted above, for 11 years. As of Thursday, I had 1 week to express all desires, needs and wants that have been building up. I was looking forward to this so so much.
The Irony comes in with the fact that one of my "freedom" things to do was to spend the night with my crush, just laying in bed watching movies, talking, cuddling. Kissing softly. I gathered up the courage to tell my crush how I felt. He was not totally opposed, but not convinced.
The irony is, I waited like 6 years to tell him, we have had those "moments" where you feel the electricity but we pretended it was nothing. We had the chance. It was there, never to be found again. He changed his mind. And all I can think about is that I love him. The fucking irony of this whole situation.
Oh and the irony of being one of the "awesomest ladies" out there, but only as a FRIEND.
What the hell would make me be more than a friend? Being thin? Being girly? Painting my nails?
Help me out guys.........
On another note...... Got my nipples pierced yesterday and they look awesome and don't feel that bad at all.
I guess its good I have no sex life, it will give them time to heal. 
Have a inside joke with my daughter and her bff (who I kind of refer to as my second daughter) regarding Star Wars and the whole Yoda quotes.
Try Not.
Do
or Do Not.
There is no try.
It all started with me trying to get the meaning behind the quote across to her. She is a athlete and plays at a provincial level. She loves the sport, but when she is feeling lazy or tired or just don't give a fuck, she always uses the excuse "I will try" or "I tried".
I told her using the phrase "I will try" is a cop out and an excuse to fail.
So anyway it turned into an inside joke between herself, her BFF and me. Today I tool them to the flea market and had custom made t-shirts made for them.
This is the back......
The front looks like this.
This has pretty much been a shitty shitty weekend. Minus getting the piercings. I went out Friday with some co-workers, who are not up to my partying level I suppose and the one that is, had friends to go out with, cause he is cool like that. Don't roll with the old bitches like me.
So I haven't really cooked a meal, I actually don't even remember when I ate last. I don't seem to care these days. I am not even looking forward to work anymore cause I am helping out temporarily in a crappy, crappy department, that for some reason feels like a sauna while the rest of the building is a igloo.
I feel the same old depression, hopelessness setting in. Somehow, though I do not believe in any organized religion or anything, I think some cosmic force is telling me that my role on this planet is to suffer.
I shouldn't complain, Simon suffered way more, but I thought while he was in "heaven" he would maybe offer a hand or something.
