l1vingdeadgurl

I guess the old saying goes "today is the first day of the rest of your life"

My friends are trying to convince me that this is the attitude I should take. That my shitty and non existant past is just that.........the PAST. That I need to get over not getting to be a kid, going from supporting my parents to being a single mother supporting my own kids.....and my parents at times. Get over watching my friends celebrate their 20's in typical style, going to university, partying their ass off and having some kick ass memories. I spent my 20's knee deep in diapers, bills, formula and parenting groups. Not to mention working a shitty job to make frayed ends meet which they didn't even come close. My twenties are not even a memory. There was nothing memorable about them. My thirties are looking to be much the same. And who the FUCK is going to want to hang out with me at the bars and shit when I am 40 and my kids are grown. NO ONE. So in the risk of ranting and raving I wish people who stop telling me this. I am sick of hearing "oh when the kids are grown you will have your life back" Really? What fucking life? My friends will all be having kids and doing what I did when I was 20. So I guess I will join a lawn bowling group then. FUCK OFF. Let me be miserable about losing my youth and let me pine over it for as long as I want. I know I wont get it back which makes it all the worse. So SHUT UP ALREADY.