Sometimes things are bad and you know it is, so very fucking bad but you can't stop yourself from doing it anyway. Like a well know side road that leads you to the freeway, but by the time you get there all you can do is ask yourself what the fuck?
I miss him so much on days like this. He was like that thing... Read More
You ever get tired of holding on to something that is quite possibly slipping through your fingers? You realize, though, that you don't care because it wasn't what you wanted in the first place.
Still looking for a job, which is pretty frustrating in itself. The volunteer thing is going good, it fills the day.
Sometimes the days run into each other and I forget where I am- in the scheme of things such as time.
I've decided to use this excess energy and the training in human behavior thus far, to a greater good. Ive been accepted into a volunteer position as a crisis interventionist for victims of violence. The training is intense, the shifts 12 hrs overnight but... Read More
Surefire way to send preteen daughter into nuclear meltdown?
Place her in the penalty box, twice, in one game at oh, let's say 8:30 am.
Not a pleasant site.
He reminds me of
you alot and
sometimes I think he is
you reincarnated
He echoes the very words
You uttered
before your untimely
expected still
death
words that haunt me, hurt... Read More
haha. well from what i understand of mothers, they have one, go oh no never again, a little while later, oh but i want another one. then repeat until several children later you really dont want anymore haha. And at least being into sports they have something to channel all that energy into.
After staying up last night to create a PowerPoint jeopardy game - for no reason other than it sounded pretty fucking cool at the time, I browsed through 80's & 90's rap songs, the ones from my geno, on you tube, stared endlessly out the window, spent 45 minutes writing random bullshit, sent my love a message and finally... Read More
I started reading the poetry to my 6 year old. Not the traditional kindergarten poems, but the great poetry of modern times. He expresses a serious interest in writing. He writes stories daily, asking me to help him spell the difficult words like "sometimes" or "colorful". I couldn't help but smile this morning as I sat beside him, listening to him recount the ideas for... Read More
Thank you I don't really talk to my parents about stuff like that a lot. Because I think it can just lead to more disappointment. But I probably should do. I know I could please them and how to please them. But that's just not stuff I want to do.
then she steps into me
as if i am a carcass she has gutted
and taken down from the drying rack
and stepped into: legs into legs,
arms into arms, head into head etc.
She walks around inside me
telling everyone the secrets I've spent
my life trying to keep hidden. Later
she's tired and sits down by the river.
A scattering of white feathers... Read More
Laying in bed, cuddling and having him place his head into that crevice between your neck and shoulder so he can smell your hair. Slowly running his fingers along your arms, your back and telling you how soft you are. Feeling like you may just belong there.
I feel bad because during all this, the following song is playing in my... Read More
When I drive to work, mostly in a half daze, I watch the people walking by, bundled up with down coats and scarfs revealing only a fraction of their faces, fighting desperately against the bitter wind. Sometimes I slow down, think about offering them a ride, because hell, I have been there before. I never do and for this I feel bad sometimes. I look... Read More
I do hope you do! I want to do and see as much as I can whilst I'm out there.
It's only natural to think how that situation would affect you, and how you'll miss him. There's that quote as well 'It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all'. Which is basically saying the same thing as Garth.
This is touching. In my life there are a few people that when I present news of something or my feelings of the day their first reaction "Oh great how does this ruin my day?!" so I am punished for expressing myself. Is it any wonder we live in silence?
When it gets warmer i'll go take some more.
Hope you find some love & good luck on the job.