I'm startled awake by a noise in the living room. Tiberius (my dog, corgi mix) is on high alert. My brother (middle of 3, I'm youngest) was down from up north for the night. He'd came down to go drinking in Seattle while his wife was visiting a friend, bringing along his mammoth dog, Ronin. I figure Ronin ran into something, so I go out into the living room to check it out. Not noticing anything, I get a drink and head back to sleep. The alarm clock reads 5:00 am.
15 minutes latter I hear my bother making a gross noise out in the living room. "Oh fuck, he's vomiting," I realize. I head back out to the living room and sure enough my bother is vomiting all over the carpet in front of my TV. Knowing I need to take care of it right away (stink, dogs), I grab a crappy large spoon and a bag from the kitchen. I tell my brother to get up and I scoop up the vomit, revolted. I throw the bag and spoon in the trash and get my carpet cleaner out. My brother has meanwhile only moved about a foot from where he vomited. I use the carpet cleaner to finish cleaning up the mess, getting within inches of my brother's face as he's passed out on the floor.
Thinking the worse is over, I head back into bed, pissed off about being woken up. Suddenly my door opens and my brother is there. He turns into my closet and searches for the light.
"Um... Dude the bathroom is over there," I tell him.
He heads into the bathroom (mind you there is one off the living room). When he comes out of the bathroom, he walks over and gets into my bed. Both dogs jump on the bed at the same time, including all 100+ pounds of Ronin.
"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" I question.
"Kyle told me to sleep here," he replies.
"Dude, get the fuck out, go back to the living room."
"..inaudible.."
"DUDE, get the fuck up!"
"I am awake."
I'm eventually able to get my brother to go back to the living room. I toss him a blanket and turn the heat on as the living room is freezing cold (he left the fucking door cracked open). I head back to bed and realize at this point I'm not going to be able to get back to sleep. I watch some TV, pissed about what has transpired and my interrupted sleep.
Eventually, I get up to make some breakfast. Venturing back into the living room I realize the noise I heard at 5:00 am was my brother crashing into my shelving unit, breaking two shelves and spilling my DVDs all over the floor.
While in the kitchen preparing breakfast, the dogs start jumping on my bother. He wakes up and sees I'm in the kitchen.
"So, how'd you sleep last night?" he asks.