What have I been doing the past couple of months.
Just trying to wrap my head around things. I don't like to get into one routine and feel dependent on it. I just wish I could do that with weed. I mean, I can go without women, friends, food, love, etc, but I can't live without weed.
I think that's WHY I can live very little, because the weed at least makes me feel good. The way a friendship or girlfriend might. I know because I've experienced those things if even briefly.
But usually the pain associated with it is so great that the little bit of happiness doesn't seem worth it, because there's no guaruntee there will even be any happiness and not just someone messing with you.
Dude, so much emo going on.
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Doing decent in school. Not as good as I would like but at least I'm there and I'm passing, I think. We'll see. If not, I'll just go back next year. To a different school, but school none the less.
I really hate LACC. I have really hated LACC for a long time but they gave me financial aid once and so I felt compelled to go there.
They changed their whole policy and it's really ridiculous now. I'm very glad and happy to be able to go to another school. As usual I was forced to go to this school by the probation department and got comfortable there because of familiarity. And the fact that I got financial aid for the first time in the 10+ years I've been in community college made a big difference.
But most of the teachers at my school are idiots and cokeheads. If you do coke, fine, but I don't like coke heads. They're liars. They don't know what the truth is. Coke twists you into something nasty.
I'm sorry if a lot of you do coke, but oh well. Then you're probably pretty nasty people already and I could give a fuck. Yeah they can be fun to party with until you get on their bad side. Or they're coming down off their high. Or they need more and you just did the last line or something. Or they are going to pimp out their g/f for coke or just trick her into fucking all your coke dealer friends for free, lol.
Well anyway. Coke bitches are sad and belong with their coke dealing overlords. Lol.
Dude I'm sorry for getting so nasty and mean. I don't like to be this way. But I have been around coke heads my whole life and coke makes people mean and nasty.
I like to smoke weed.
I haven't smoked this morning. I want to quit. But I get so angry and irritable. But I hate being controlled.
I mean look at a movie about weed heads and look at a movie about coke heads. They don't make many movies about coke heads. Maybe BLOW with Johnny Depp.
But look at the movies about weed. Like Harold and Kumar, Half Baked, Dazed and Confused, Cheech and Chong, The Big LEbowski, etc.
I mean, coke heads/tweakers and weed heads dont mix. And that's the truth.
We're two different types of people.
But that's not what this blog was about. But anyway.
I have some video I have been recording, but I have to edit it and upload it still.
It's nice to be back and see SillyK and Issue, and DarkKnight, and Retro and everybody else who has been NICE/KIND to me, even if it's fake, or they're just doing it to trick me so that they can pull the rug out later. It's ok, I like it anyways.
Maybe like is just not genuine. Maybe there are no genuine people. Maybe everybody is the same. They say and act one way when youre around then act completely opposite when you're not.
Who knows. If I think about it I'll go crazy.
So I can't think about it too much.
What I need to do is catch up on my Math and CoSci. I have two big tests coming up next week.
I'm a little behind but only by a week. I can do it if I just study everyday untl next Wednesday/Thursday I'll be good and should get B's on my test.
I'm getting better. I've never studied in my life (except for Biology) and it's difficult. But I'm learning. it's interesting.
I mean I've studied, just never for school. I study comics, movies, games, etc, just never anything useful.
Anyways, love you guys
Oops I forgot Tatiana too. And probably lots of other people. Sorry, I'm not used to having people to talk to.
Just trying to wrap my head around things. I don't like to get into one routine and feel dependent on it. I just wish I could do that with weed. I mean, I can go without women, friends, food, love, etc, but I can't live without weed.
I think that's WHY I can live very little, because the weed at least makes me feel good. The way a friendship or girlfriend might. I know because I've experienced those things if even briefly.
But usually the pain associated with it is so great that the little bit of happiness doesn't seem worth it, because there's no guaruntee there will even be any happiness and not just someone messing with you.
Dude, so much emo going on.
---
Doing decent in school. Not as good as I would like but at least I'm there and I'm passing, I think. We'll see. If not, I'll just go back next year. To a different school, but school none the less.
I really hate LACC. I have really hated LACC for a long time but they gave me financial aid once and so I felt compelled to go there.
They changed their whole policy and it's really ridiculous now. I'm very glad and happy to be able to go to another school. As usual I was forced to go to this school by the probation department and got comfortable there because of familiarity. And the fact that I got financial aid for the first time in the 10+ years I've been in community college made a big difference.
But most of the teachers at my school are idiots and cokeheads. If you do coke, fine, but I don't like coke heads. They're liars. They don't know what the truth is. Coke twists you into something nasty.
I'm sorry if a lot of you do coke, but oh well. Then you're probably pretty nasty people already and I could give a fuck. Yeah they can be fun to party with until you get on their bad side. Or they're coming down off their high. Or they need more and you just did the last line or something. Or they are going to pimp out their g/f for coke or just trick her into fucking all your coke dealer friends for free, lol.
Well anyway. Coke bitches are sad and belong with their coke dealing overlords. Lol.
Dude I'm sorry for getting so nasty and mean. I don't like to be this way. But I have been around coke heads my whole life and coke makes people mean and nasty.
I like to smoke weed.
I haven't smoked this morning. I want to quit. But I get so angry and irritable. But I hate being controlled.
I mean look at a movie about weed heads and look at a movie about coke heads. They don't make many movies about coke heads. Maybe BLOW with Johnny Depp.
But look at the movies about weed. Like Harold and Kumar, Half Baked, Dazed and Confused, Cheech and Chong, The Big LEbowski, etc.
I mean, coke heads/tweakers and weed heads dont mix. And that's the truth.
We're two different types of people.
But that's not what this blog was about. But anyway.
I have some video I have been recording, but I have to edit it and upload it still.
It's nice to be back and see SillyK and Issue, and DarkKnight, and Retro and everybody else who has been NICE/KIND to me, even if it's fake, or they're just doing it to trick me so that they can pull the rug out later. It's ok, I like it anyways.
Maybe like is just not genuine. Maybe there are no genuine people. Maybe everybody is the same. They say and act one way when youre around then act completely opposite when you're not.
Who knows. If I think about it I'll go crazy.
So I can't think about it too much.
What I need to do is catch up on my Math and CoSci. I have two big tests coming up next week.
I'm a little behind but only by a week. I can do it if I just study everyday untl next Wednesday/Thursday I'll be good and should get B's on my test.
I'm getting better. I've never studied in my life (except for Biology) and it's difficult. But I'm learning. it's interesting.
I mean I've studied, just never for school. I study comics, movies, games, etc, just never anything useful.
Anyways, love you guys
Oops I forgot Tatiana too. And probably lots of other people. Sorry, I'm not used to having people to talk to.