Hey there peeps. How are yous all? Hope yous are doing well, hopefully you are. If not, you'll read in this blog that your not the only one so your not alone. Welcome to another edition of my In General where I just chat to yous all that are reading this and are good mates. And you are my mates.
Basically my In General blog are really just me talking what's on my mind and getting things off my chest and there is things I want to get off my chest. As many readers of mine know that about myself.
So this is my first blog I've written for a few weeks now. For good reason. If you saw my Taking an Hiatus blog you know why.
I've been down a lot. Mostly from self isolating. But there's more than that. Recently a few weeks ago I got blocked on OnlyFans from a model who I'm not naming. But basically all I did was said no to B/G content in my DM cause I'm not into explicit content like that as many of yous know. Somehow a few still haven't got the memo. Before I explain that. I want to touch on one of the things that got me down and took a hiatus from blogging.
Recently two weeks ago I think. There was a Set Of The Day that put me into depressed mode. Now if your expecting me to say bad things about the model that I had a fallout with. Your in the wrong blog peeps. Cause I hate it is come to this but that's how life goes sometimes. You can't get along with everyone, even though I do my best. But sometimes my mental health issues get the better of me, think anyone with mental health can relate to that. Like you can't help yourself and you just have to let the emotions out. Even though it's not the intention that you wanted to go. I think that's what happen to this model I fall out with in December.
I had a few fallouts. Luckily it's not common since I do get along with a lot of people on here. And thank yous btw. But unfortunately me & her fallout since for a while I thought she was ignoring me and I blew it out of proportion. I did my best to make amends with her and thought we were back being cool and bury the hatchet, til she blocked me on Instagram when I posting about all of the Appreciation Blogs I did on this site so far in one of my first post since coming back onto Instagram. But she blocked me. So I deleted her Appreciation Blog since I know I was going to tag her since I promote my Appreciation Blogs in every entry I do in that blog series. Also in my FSS Blog series too. Cause I like to promote the blogs and tag the models that I feature in those blogs. And also I'm not naming her. Long time readers will probably know who it is, she used to be one of my favourites and a mate too. So please don't name her in the comments out of respect please. So the reason I deleted it is cause I wanted to move on and put it in the past you know. Doing the right thing and move on. Since she isn't on here at all rarely.
But her set got Set Of The Day. It give me those auto thoughts of regret and sadness. Auto thoughts is something people with depression will have and most of yous can relate to that. But also good for her and the other model. Cause it was a duo set. Again not naming who. I've mention the set a bunch of times in my past blogs and I would be happy it got pick & share my joy that it was SOTD in my Instagram account. But of course the model in it and I fall out. I hate saying we fallout but it's true. It sucks and wish it wasn't like this but that's reality I'm afraid. You can't get along with everyone. So I had to take a break from online for a while cause I was depressed. Cause besides that I was self isolated and not seen my personal mates in ages. Also the heatwave give me a week and a half of insomnia & heat exhaustion so I was a wreak. So I was down a lot since my post vacation. Made me wish I had another holiday. And also on social media it's not fun seeing post about how males are the worst and all that toxicity. You know what I mean. It was getting too much. So I knew I need to take a break from all the blogs atm.
I still post on my Instagram for now since it's more easier so I'm still supporting/promoting my favourite models still. Including this new bit I do on Friday which is inspired by my FSS blog series called Fury's Favourite Set Friday. Thought it'll be a cool edition to my WCW & MCM post. So I still post cause I don't want to give up my support to the models. As Leo will say in The Wolf Of Wall Street....
Yeah cause I've made too many mates on here and elsewhere in the Alt Modelling community to quit. I do take breaks to unwind but I'm not leaving. I'm staying. So I will be back doing what I do best. Blogging about my models. I shouldn't be down cause I had one fallout with a model. Cause look how many models give me shoutouts, support me, back me up, etc. Of course I'm not leaving. Models kill for the level of support I give and believe me I support them to the best of my ability once I have the time to do it. They know that and I can't thank them enough for the love, support and friendships back. Cause yeah that's what I am truly about. Sure I'm not perfect. I have flaws and I've made mistakes but guess what. We all do those. But I'm a man of action and I believe in solving problems. Hopefully one day that model and I will really made amends and be mates again. But doubt it. She's probably moved on and you know what that's fine & I wish her the best. If she does read this. I'm sorry our odd online relationship has ended but I don't regret supporting you on your journey. If I have to do it again, you bet I'll be supporting you cause I think supporting models is the best and it's really helping out some person. I'm always get cheered up when someone says that I'm sweet, kind, your the best, etc cause I give them support. So I don't regret supporting her in the past, I'm happy she got Set Of The Day and in the way our fallout had made me a better model supporter/blogger/promoter you know. I do have things to work on.
Cause that's one of the things I've been reading about on improving your mental health is to not be your own worst critic and I was my own believe me. But I can think to myself now and think I know I do my best, my intentions are good and if they take me the wrong way. Their problem, not mine. I stick to my strong points and work on my weakness. Hints why I won't write a blog til I'm motivated to do so. But I'm thankful that everyone of my followers are the best who understand and respects me. Since they know themselves what I feel is like. They've been there and done that. The only thing I can do is be better.
My weakest right now is subbing on too many subscriptions to OnlyFans/Patreons. So right now I'm only sub to @evoke & @sammiii for now. But I love backing @tripodski @keshia and EliteOnlineMag on Patreon. Especially since I get a collection of sets/vids of all the top alt models. Also prints/polaroids. I will get back into them somepoint. But usually I love to buy my video games, Blu Rays, etc. But they understand that it isn't easy since I'm usually skint. That's why their top people!!
So yeah basically don't pleasure myself into buying model's OnlyFans and that. Taking @phianixx @evoke etc advice since their good mates of mine. No doubt it's the same with @nerwen @olgakulaga @rubyalexia @peachie_ @peachynorth @diamant @tink @ashena @asxna @brizelll @dannikadaisy @babu @julha @nolajean @narublu @elorafawn @victoriaboness etc too. Their all understandable and respects that. Cause I am upfront in a kind way. But I still support them on Instagram and in future blogs cause that's what I do in my free time. I can be proud of that. So I'm doing my best to make myself realise that. I truly help these ladies.
I mean even SGHQ knows how much I do work my ass off on the blogs I write. That's why I usually get on front page cause of my work. Their fans too. I mean it is easy to write about why oh why. Why me, why she has to fallout with me. But guess what fallouts happen and there's nothing I can do about it. I've said sorry and did my best to make amends. But they don't want it so leave them be. It did got me down but instead of feeling sorry for myself. I just go you know what I fuck that relationship up but you know what, I've learned and I can only improve. I mean this year alone, I've been on front page a lot with my blogs. I can keep my head up realising that I've made a difference in a good way.
And also not let the anti male post on social media get to me. Cause I know it isn't aimed at me. When my name is mentioned it's positive. Cause a lot of people know that I do my best to support not only the models. But the photographers and even the members too.
I'm just a Scotsman with ASD & mental health issues doing my best to support, give appreciation and help out people in these fuck up times.
I mean @phianixx @evoke @chroi @diamant @gnomi @ghillie @asxna @brizelll @peachynorth @victoriaboness @nolajean @babu @kitsu @marlene @redkaya @olgakulaga @nerwen @ojtheviking @justones @tripodski @niallpatterson @magusjoe @xheartswornx (Wish he came back) @kaptaine @25901jfm @agent_easy @diddy_dave_uk and of course @blaizee a bunch of times has giving me shoutouts, blogs and even videos just being awesome about myself. Trust me I do notice it and I do thank all of yous. I will hug all of yous if I could. Love all of yous.
So yeah I will be back to blog somepoint. Think a FSS blog is in order. So that one will be next. So the show will go on. I'm not leaving. Even though I was very close to quitting. But I'm staying. Made a lot of mates and I don't want to leave them or this site.
Sure I'm not an explicit porn like content guy. Well not anymore. I used to be a year and a half ago til my ex mate of mine basically txt me porn that was disgusting that involved mockery of disabled people. As someone who has been in Special Needs school. I took offence to it. Cause before that it was just B/G content I wasn't a fan of. Since I got bullied in college and my main bully tormented me with vids of him having sex with this girl I had a crush on and it scarred me you know. Just cause I had problems talking to girls cause I am very shy and social awkward. So yeah that's why I'm not an explicit content guy. Hopefully that clears things up to those who wonder why I keep saying that. I can go as far as G/G content. So please respect that about as I respect yous. That's all. Don't be a douchebag about it. Not everyone is into porn on here. Some like this place for the photography, community, the exotic art and it's softcore. I mean theirs no right or wrong. Yous like what you like. Just don't be a dick about it.
So yeah I want to say all of that to clear the air and get it off my chest.
But I am feeling a bit better. Out and about with one of my personal mate & my family helps. Going for walks help and so on. I need to work on realising I have more good than bad and stop these bloody auto thoughts of mine. One step at a time.
Also playing video games, watch TV/films, cooking, baking, listening to my tunes, playing golf again and reading helps too to better my mental health. I know what to do and know when to take a step back to unwind. At least I got that.
Hopefully this blog helps anyone else that has mental health issues too. That's why I also write this for those who may feel the same way. You're not alone and you got this. Be strong and keep going. Kick some ass in a positive way. You have that power to better your life and stop those negative thoughts overtake you. You can beat it's ass and win. You got this!
So yeah that's another In General blog done and dusted. Thank yous all for reading and sticking by me. I know I get emotional and be outspoken. I know it scares people away but thank you for sticking with me and also for being so understanding. I can only get better. So thank you peeps. Yous are the best.
If yous want you can follow me @kungfurysg on Instagram. Also my snapchat too at thebadarsemofo if yous want. No pleasure!!
Anyway thank you for reading and checking my blog out once again peeps. Til the next blog which will be the return of the FSS blog. This is KungFury saying take care, much love and......
@missy @rambo @sean @eirenne @lust @lemon @jacqueline @yessybear