Hey everybody, happy new year and hope it was a good holiday for yous all. Hopefully yous all have a great year ahead.
Anyway I'm not going to beat around the bushes here. this blog will be my last one for a good while cause I need time away from online and stuff like this cause my mental health has been bad lately.
I'm not going to call anyone out but recently on my fan accounts I've had problems & I feel i handled it pretty badly since I'm not mentally well cause ive been fighting depression, anxitey and anxiousness for a few years and my MH has been taking a bit of a beating the last few months. I think i've fucked up bad and i feel so bad about it. But i'm not a liar i'll say that now. I never lied. basically let me start at the beginning....
I have fan accounts on Twitter and Instagram where I post my favourite models. I do these girloftheday post and sometimes WCW/MCM post (which are women crush wednesday & model crush monday for short). So I made a post for my fellow SG model & good mate @evoke it did good. Got over 80 likes and was happy about (since it'll get her more followers, subs, etc). In the post I said I wasn't into the SW explicit content type of stuff. Even though I did sub a few OnlyFans and brought a few SW things from the models in the past but it was really cause I really want to support them. I said it was getting forced in my face cause i usually see toxic post like "buy or fuck off" you know stuff like that on some feeds and I'm not a fan of that. I know a lot of yous don't do that. Just on Twitter & Instagram i see a lot of that negative behaviour you know and I'm like that's not how to do it. So I had a bit of a wee rant on how BS it was that how forceful it was and then I got a few models go on my comments saying how dare you and all that. I would hear them out but their were aggressive towards me so I blocked them. I should have kept it at that but I kept ranting.
Basically the true is I'm not a happy person. I've been through my own personal hell and sometimes I rant you know due to how shite my personal life & my mental health. Even though I do my best, good god I do my best. So I archived that post and also apologises to a model I feel that was ignoring me. But we made amends.
So I was off my fan accounts for a good while. Clear my head a bit but by the time I wrote this I said in short why I was off but I'll explain in this blog and the post about me i saw from Twitter were pretty bad. I really broke my heart to see models that I did supported in the past say things like that to me and i never wanted it to go down like this. I fucked up. I really have and i just don't know what to say than I'm sorry. But if you do read to those models. I did said to some of yous in that chatroom I wasn't that person and you know that. I always said this that I'm a Alt Glamour Model fan. It's exotic art in my eyes. Sure Sex Work Is Work and I'm all for that. Just the explicit content like B/G, sex toys, etc were never my thing. I'm quite tame tbh. I'm into the glamour side of things when it comes the alt modelling scene cause I grew up with that with the lads mags in the past. That's why I did the fan accounts cause it was a good idea to show my support and appreciation to the models. It's got me a lot of praises from members, photographers and models alike. So that's why I thought I'll do that. Especially since I'm not rich enough to tip the models often you know lol. But I do that cause I thought it'll be nice.
But clearly I'm not mentally strong enough for the fan accounts like the guys on Twitter. That's why I'm stopping the fan accounts and I'll be taking a break from the modelling blogs on here. Do follow @ojtheviking for his blogs on the models and @phianixx as well as she's always blogging about models, awesome members here and so forth. I don't know when I'll do the FSS (Favourite SG Sets) blog series again.
I'll be going back to my original blogs that I did when I first joined here and that's mental health, my video games, my music playlist, etc. So I'll only be on here on occasions in the mean time. So I feel I'm not ready to deal with online and it showed cause I handle the situation badly. I'm only a human with Aspergers after all.
Believe me or not it's the truth. I know I'm a flawed prick but least I'm man enough to admit it. I shouldn't call them out. That was my regret. I should have kept it to myself like with the other model I screwed up with who I thought ignored me cause she wasn't responding to me. But we made amends.
To those models that I fall out with. Sorry things turn out the way it is but yous aren't perfect either and yous haven't really talk to me, 1 & 2 of yous for ages. So saying it and basically ganging up on me in that post wasn't the right way. You should've just talk to me. I'm just a ASD man supporting Alt Models for fun til something happens that'll make me be less online. Sorry that it offended yous but it wasn't in the intention you're thinking of. I'm just trying to say that it is a bit forceful and that's not the right way.
Do I wish them a bad life or less customers? No I don't. In fact I hope they have a good life and do well. Just like I wish yous well every time I talk on here. Cause it hurts that I have to write this blog but I want to clear the air since my fan accounts are gone.
It's best that I take my leave from it and I thank yous my followers....@ENVY_ @LEACHEYENNE @LUIRAE @NATHI @AMYJANETM @NANCI @IFRIN @AINOA_PARTY @HELENARAE @KAPTAINE @YOGI64 @PHIANIXX @XHEARTSWORNX @LUIE @VENTURINI @FREYJA @DERANGEDPIXIE @HILO @GLEIZ @NETER @NEOMABELL @OPALENIGMATIC_ @IVYGEHENNA @CHROI @HEIWA @NIALLPATTERSON @NICK_THE_GEEK @JUBILEEGIRL @THERUSTYCHEEZ @GPRYME @THICKLUVINS @DYNAMITEGRRL @TATYCAMILI @EMSTONE @AVECALLUNA @VILKS @USER24356909 @BLAIZEE @SOFIA_K @JEEH @CARLOS810120 @MIKE18BARRERA @BOOKCOUPLE @TONGUEPUNCH @SOILEDSUICIDE @CHEF @JOHNGOYER @YULYAFOX @SUSU @LUXES @FLA @GNOMI @RRASMUSSEN2003 @MIAMISCHIEVIOUS @ANJAVE @BLUEDETTE @EVOKE @REN_ @LEIGHGABRIEL @MARI @MORGAM @FREYAMAE @PUETZOGRAFIE @VALO @VAGNERASSILVA @ALESHANEE @HELLVECTOR @nolajean @SRAOTHA @JUSTONES @YAIZA @JUST_SICK @NILLY @ROPERS71 @PEACHIE_ @IRINAVEGA @ALEX2980 @VIC_TSO @MISTRESS @ADRI_IRON @WATERBOY888 @CUTIEPIIE @OJTHEVIKING @TOMMY @ASTRANIX @TRIPODSKI @ZORY @PEACHYNORTH @LOLASERENA @BARBS @BONDYE @THIMEOW @TATTOOEDKITTY @GOPHINS13 @CATLADYZOE @CATB @PAIGEROSE @LADYFIREFOX @NP33DI @SYRINN @MANIKA @THYONE @SOBELLE @SIMALIA @MISSJCRISTINA @KANDYB @LEBLANC @NINHA @KINZY @ALAMARCO @ITISSWEETIEPIE @SAMMIII @AVENIR @NAIDYX @ASHLEIGH_GREY @CUDNOVATI @KESHIA @KALIK @VEENINE @SILENTOBJECTORX @DLISTSUPERVILLAIN @KALIVA @RHAVENA @VICTORIABONESS @JESSICALYNN @CERSEI @LINCOLN @MYSTICSOUL_XO @BRONSONQUICK @FODEN1 @ASHENA @RKADU @OFELIAH @GITANNA @MISSNICKERS @BRECA @RUBYALEXIA @VIVIH @GIRLPOWEER @ALLESMACK @FELIXEE @SURREAL_ @PAULINKI @KASKUYKEN @KAT_LADY @POLLYANNE @GLITCHER @ALEXABSTRACT @RYANFOUSTART @MIKEY @USER9857 @INFERNUM @ALYXHART @JCUSMC @OLDMAN1949 @POSHALLEN @LLIRI @PITMAGRIN @MDT @BORGIA @JOOHX @BECKAH @LEXFROMHELL @RISINGSTAR @MISS_BELLA_CYANIDE @MSILVEIRA @PENNY @SILVERY @LIATHA @RAVENNA @DAREAL @INANNA_TRIX @BRIZELLL @REAGHAN @MARIAJUPITER @ROSIELEIGH @DANY_XSTYLE @APHRODITE_ @REDKAYA @GHILLIE @RAPTUREX @KITTENBLUE @SYCORAXX @JCROSSUNS @LUNAROJO @DIDDY_DAVE_UK @LIASWORLD @MIDNIGHTOWL @GAGZ9K @JESSASKITTLES @KAYDEE @MERMICORN @SLYFAUXFAIL @CHINASKI @MALAPHOR @SKITTLEPOP @THECHRISWOODA @25901JFM @DOROTEALUXEMBURGO @MIKEWHITEPHOTOG @PRANNA @NERUVBE @CHALK @MOREENA @PINKYROSE @EVANESCO @JEZZIED @ELVENQUEEN @AGENT_EASY @KITIKHAOS @GRIFFXX @ITS_HOLLYY @MIDNIGHTPOISON @YUYUKI @EDDY99 @NICKSTONE @SCOTT_DAVIDSON @KETTLE @MELINASHAKUR @BRINIC @XIRA @ASXNA @REZNORITIS @ROCKNURSELR @NEVERGOODBYE @PAYGE @VENZO @LECHERYLADY @SOURVANE @RAPHAELITE @LADYKITSUNE @KAYDIE @catlyn @cherryany @veja @florry @diamant @paddyslattery @niffler @jessieoops @zoemarie @ek503 @ellabar @lamarmelade @camilafor @liliaveber @cripplethreat @everlynsuicide and @zen
Even non followers like @TINK @NAYRU @SALLYJANERAIN @SIRENA @BABU @SIRENN @OLGAKULAGA @DANNIKADAISY @JASMINELOUISE@ELIZADAWN @LISHABLACKHURST @LUCYV @ARKHAAM @AMORTENTIA @DARKMOONMEDIA @COOLICIO @MILKYDAME @bluedette @reallifepirate and others.
Your all been awesome to me and I'm so sorry. Please believe me. I do appreciate yous all honestly. This isn't KungFury talking, this is Kevin talking. I know I've fucked up. I'm a emotional and sensitive person due to my ASD & mental health. So I truly deeply apologise. And I'm sorry for the trouble I caused. I'm flawed and that's ok. We're all meant to fucked up, that's how we get better as people. So lesson learned. Just stick to here. Least everybody understands where I'm going from cause yous read my blogs and know that I'm just a normal guy with issues that I'm working hard on to get better.
So I'll be taking a break from online stuff in the meantime.
I do wish yous all a great 2020.
Don't worry about me if you are still cool with me. I don't earn it. Tbh I'm surprised that I got this far. But there you go. I'm not ready for all of this.
So hope yous understand where I'm coming from and clear the air on that. IDK if I'll continue to blog here but I am working on doing my own blog site so I'll be focused on blogs on my mental health and the such. I'm not going away from here just yet but if so. I understand. I fucked up. I know that and paid the price.
If yous got any mental health sites or MH communities I can join up. Let me know. I can use it. Any advice will help. I want to get better and be a better person. One step at a time.
I don't do new years resolutions at all but if I'm forced to choose one. It'll be to find happiness and my smile. Cause I lost mine ages ago. And better MH for everyone else.
So thank you for reading this sad guy's blog about how down I am. I'll be doing mental health blogs on here. So I'm sorry if I don't get back to yous guys. Hope yous understand, I'm sure most of yous will.
Anyway there's no KungFury saying take care, much love, etc. No this is Kevin saying take care of yourselves and each other. World needs more of that.
@missy @rambo @sean @eirenne @teal @lust
