Hey kids.. just so ya' know, I'm way too lazy to update two journals.. so, when I update my blog I'm just gonna start cut 'n' pasting it over here. So! Without further ado..
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<b>Bang On!</b>
So, in case you all hadn't noticed, I haven't seen a movie in a "movin' pi'ture thee-atur" since Signs. This is due in part to the unyielding <b>power</b> given to me by my bank through this little piece of the future known as a credit card. I haven't had an account with a major video conglomeration for awhile now, and as I'm sitting around at home one day it dawns on me. Since I'm also a proud part of <a href="http://www.toptips.com/debtclock.html">America's debt</a>, I can use this to my advantage and open a Hollywood Video account.
Bitchin'.
Saturday - I choose to throw away my antisocial behavior, and take Alicia out for the classic dinner and a movie. Swung by <a href="http://portland.citysearch.com/profile/8461974/">Country Bill's Restaurant and Lounge</a> for an pretty awesome meal. The Lounge is highly recommended for it's dark, woodsy, overstuffed red leather interior. The wait staff was super, super friendly an' quick with the water refills (I swear, I'm part camel.. and because of this genetic defect I'm constantly storing up water for something like a nuclear fallout).
So, with a fine meal out've the way, we cruise over to the <a href="http://www.fandango.com/theater.asp?distance=30&chain_id=CENT&theater_id=12021">Century 16</a> to see what we could find in the way of Hollywood's table scraps. Arrived five minutes before the seven thirty showing of <a href="http://www.reddragonmovie.com">Red Dragon</a>.
Bitchin'.
So, belly up to the booth and order two tickets.
"That'll be sixteen dollars, sir."
At this point all of the Jewish blood in my right arm has spiraled upwards into my brain, making it both physically and mentally difficult to remove my wallet. I quietly panic and my brain races to calculate how many new releases I could rent for sixteen dollars at the Hollywood. After about five seconds of silent deliberation and a quick glance at Alicia's expectant, shining, radiant-with-the-love-and-anticipation-for-a-serial-killer-slash-cannabal face, I carefully remove my credit card and hand it over.
"Sorry, sir. We don't accept credit cards, however there's an ATM at the other end of the lobby."
Not Bitchin'
Basically, what our young employee just said roughly translated into my brain as, "Listen, dick with the Visa. Not only do I hate your kind as much as I hate my job, but I'm going to make you get out of line and pay a fee at the ATM <i>just</i> so I'll know in my heart of hearts that you'll be the stumbling-in-the-dark idiot stepping on old ladies' feet and spilling peanut butter m & m's while trying to find an open seat on this, Saturday, <b>day two </b>of the opening weekend."
I think I may have muttered something about how his mother looked like <a href="http://www.altocelebs.net/m/moby/c-001498-pi-107615.jpg">Moby</a> and wandered across the lobby.
Okay, I know that credit isn't accepted everywhere. Prostitutes don't take Visa.. even if it's slogan is "Everywhere you want to be." And I know my friendly neighborhood bodega won't accept American Express. These are things that make sense to me, and I understand that they work off the now outdated concept of physical currency. But, correct me if I am indeed wrong, but we live in the year two thousand two. A year, according to scientists of the nineteen fifties, in which we would be arriving to work in flying cars after a hearty breakfast of something that came out of a toothpaste tube. A year where the American movie multiplex, with all of it's vast technological achievements in the entertainment and recreational industry (Such as cup holders.... and... umm.... reclining chairs...) one <i>may</i> expect to use a form of payment that has in <b>fact</b> been in affect since the time of those scientists back in <a href="http://www.didyouknow.cd/creditcards.htm">nineteen fifty one</a>.
I JUST WANTED TO CHARGE MY FUCKING CREDIT CARD. I WANTED TO SEE A FUCKING MOVIE AND NOT PAY TWO FUCKING DOLLARS FOR AN ATM FEE. I COULD HAVE RENTED THREE FUCKING MOVIES AND BOUGHT A PINT OF HAGEN-DAZS.
...
Umm... sorry 'bout that...
... Umm...
Well, Red Dragon was really good. Damn that Ed Norton's a sexy bitch.
-------------------------------
<b>Bang On!</b>
So, in case you all hadn't noticed, I haven't seen a movie in a "movin' pi'ture thee-atur" since Signs. This is due in part to the unyielding <b>power</b> given to me by my bank through this little piece of the future known as a credit card. I haven't had an account with a major video conglomeration for awhile now, and as I'm sitting around at home one day it dawns on me. Since I'm also a proud part of <a href="http://www.toptips.com/debtclock.html">America's debt</a>, I can use this to my advantage and open a Hollywood Video account.
Bitchin'.
Saturday - I choose to throw away my antisocial behavior, and take Alicia out for the classic dinner and a movie. Swung by <a href="http://portland.citysearch.com/profile/8461974/">Country Bill's Restaurant and Lounge</a> for an pretty awesome meal. The Lounge is highly recommended for it's dark, woodsy, overstuffed red leather interior. The wait staff was super, super friendly an' quick with the water refills (I swear, I'm part camel.. and because of this genetic defect I'm constantly storing up water for something like a nuclear fallout).
So, with a fine meal out've the way, we cruise over to the <a href="http://www.fandango.com/theater.asp?distance=30&chain_id=CENT&theater_id=12021">Century 16</a> to see what we could find in the way of Hollywood's table scraps. Arrived five minutes before the seven thirty showing of <a href="http://www.reddragonmovie.com">Red Dragon</a>.
Bitchin'.
So, belly up to the booth and order two tickets.
"That'll be sixteen dollars, sir."
At this point all of the Jewish blood in my right arm has spiraled upwards into my brain, making it both physically and mentally difficult to remove my wallet. I quietly panic and my brain races to calculate how many new releases I could rent for sixteen dollars at the Hollywood. After about five seconds of silent deliberation and a quick glance at Alicia's expectant, shining, radiant-with-the-love-and-anticipation-for-a-serial-killer-slash-cannabal face, I carefully remove my credit card and hand it over.
"Sorry, sir. We don't accept credit cards, however there's an ATM at the other end of the lobby."
Not Bitchin'
Basically, what our young employee just said roughly translated into my brain as, "Listen, dick with the Visa. Not only do I hate your kind as much as I hate my job, but I'm going to make you get out of line and pay a fee at the ATM <i>just</i> so I'll know in my heart of hearts that you'll be the stumbling-in-the-dark idiot stepping on old ladies' feet and spilling peanut butter m & m's while trying to find an open seat on this, Saturday, <b>day two </b>of the opening weekend."
I think I may have muttered something about how his mother looked like <a href="http://www.altocelebs.net/m/moby/c-001498-pi-107615.jpg">Moby</a> and wandered across the lobby.
Okay, I know that credit isn't accepted everywhere. Prostitutes don't take Visa.. even if it's slogan is "Everywhere you want to be." And I know my friendly neighborhood bodega won't accept American Express. These are things that make sense to me, and I understand that they work off the now outdated concept of physical currency. But, correct me if I am indeed wrong, but we live in the year two thousand two. A year, according to scientists of the nineteen fifties, in which we would be arriving to work in flying cars after a hearty breakfast of something that came out of a toothpaste tube. A year where the American movie multiplex, with all of it's vast technological achievements in the entertainment and recreational industry (Such as cup holders.... and... umm.... reclining chairs...) one <i>may</i> expect to use a form of payment that has in <b>fact</b> been in affect since the time of those scientists back in <a href="http://www.didyouknow.cd/creditcards.htm">nineteen fifty one</a>.
I JUST WANTED TO CHARGE MY FUCKING CREDIT CARD. I WANTED TO SEE A FUCKING MOVIE AND NOT PAY TWO FUCKING DOLLARS FOR AN ATM FEE. I COULD HAVE RENTED THREE FUCKING MOVIES AND BOUGHT A PINT OF HAGEN-DAZS.
...
Umm... sorry 'bout that...
... Umm...
Well, Red Dragon was really good. Damn that Ed Norton's a sexy bitch.
ragingwhore42:
amen to that! i don't go to the movies anymore-i download them before they come out-so i can feel like an elitist or something like that. good to see you didn't just disappear entirely. and yes-ed norton is a sooper sexxxy bitch.