So, a bit more has gone on, but I have'nt been able to bring myself to write about anything for awhile. Let me say first off, that I am feeling better about everything now. At least as well as anyone can expect to feel. I also want to say thanks to Lady Lotus, and Shicawgo for your kind words, and encouragement. That was nice to see out of nowhere, and it meant alot. So, the day after my last post; I started thinking about my life again. I want to do more traveling, and I also have my own pesonal projects that are important to me. And just like hurricain Katrina showed us, if you wait too long, your dreams might not be there(I never got to go to New Orleans). I've been learning some cool martial arts from a well respected man in the martial arts community, and I am his only student for a particular martial art. I started studying with him in Nov. of 2001, but have had to take a few breaks in my training due to finances, or even a job transfer. I always go back to him though, and he has been there for me on an emotional level before, when he had no reason, or responsiblity to. So, I had not been in class for close to a month, and I started thinking about my friend's death and that I should'nt wait around, and let things that are important to me slip by. He is happy to hear from me, but then informs me that one of my classmates(he was learning a different system than me) had just died the same weekend as my friend. NOW grief sets in. This guy I always enjoyed his company, and even though we were very different in who we were, and what we studied; we always sat and talked with one another, and stuck around to watch each other's classes. We formed a off beat friendship, and I was going to visit him in Maryland(where he moved back to) when I went up to visit my brother. This guy is also about my age, and he died of some illness in a hospital. What is this "death comes in three's" bullshit anyway? I liked this guy alot, and we had some common ground, but I did'nt really KNOW him. However, hearing of his death really upset me. I think it might have slipped in under my guard that I had up about my other friend's death. Reguardless, it really kickstarted an emotional rollercoaster. Either as it's own independent experience(doubtful), or as a catalyst(more likely), I was just completely taken off guard, and just layed out by this. I know all of this sounds really glum, and pessamistic, but I am doing ok. I don't really know what else to say about it, any of it. But the fact remains, that I am still here. And it's my decision what I do with that. Just as it is yours. So, I reccomend that everyone go outside and play. Enjoy what makes you happy. Try to learn from what knocks you down. Just try to have some fun.
miley_____:
Well said. I hope your feeling better sweetie