kung_fu_tattoo

It's 9am, and I've been up all night at Ihop, so please bear with any sleep-deprived caffine induced rant. I was just thinking about being a kid. I remember being so happy over the simplist things in life; like my dad getting home from work, or my mom playing hide an go seek with me. I can look at my life, and see how truly lucky I am. I have a very close family(at least the immediate members), and some friends that are every bit as close as family. I feel the occassional frustration of stagnation, but I still see the potential I have afforded to me. I have to work, and, scratch, and save for every penny; but I see a purpose, and potential in almost every day. Sometimes I have to remind myself that life is still magic, but the fact remains that it is. I need to move around some more. I need more travel, some stamps on my passport, more stories, hell, I need more scars. How can I feel so caged, and alive at the same time. There've been days that I might as well have been dead, and yet I have so much. It amazes me how much our lives are truly defined by our pain. Yet that is what makes our lives have any meaning at all. I know I've felt joy, and love; and yet I'm about to end the caffine marathon in bed alone, again, for months on end. I remember living in a house with no electricity for weeks on end. The saddest thing I can remember in my whole life, is the sound of my mother crying when she realized that the reason I was sick was malnutrition. I can't even imagine her pain on that one. She beats herself up over every "mistake" she made with us, but fails to realize that the men she loves us for would'nt be those men without them. Looking at this, I'm not sure I don't make more sense when I'm drunk! Man, I think I need to go to bed.