kumquat

i thought i would put up a little introduction to me
since i'm a newbie and that's needed

plus nothing is new since it takes about all my effort right now to get out of bed

being sick is boring
i feel isolated and awful

i lost conciousness for a while today- it was strange

i live with a cockatoo and i hate it more than i ever thought i could hate an animal

onto my intro...
my name is megan, a hater of names.
i'd like to sign my name m. alexandra and not be called anything conventional.
i am a fat bottom'd bee.
i'm waiting to go to school so i can find some sort of path in life.
it's pretty tough.
i like to pretend to be tough.
i'm not.
i am a broken girl.
i like to read.
short stories best, satire and dark fiction.
i'm in love and belong to someone and that's all i'll say about that.
i like old movies.
i am intolerant of meat eaters.
i'm a nostalgic little girl who will pretend with all her might not to be.
things that scare me turn me on.
i like being taken care of.
someone washing my hair will make me melt.
as do head scritches and hair pulling.
stroke me right and i'll be yours.
i'll put my life in your hands, if you'll choke me with them.
blood is hot.
and i'm secretly wanting to get tattooed but terrified of it and seeming like a weiner.
but i am a weiner.
a big one.
i wish i were a pretty girl.
i live in my head and it's a mess.
i want badly to be one of those girls.
one of those girls with shiny lips and modded hips, who hangs from hooks with a smile, with tattooed words and bright coloured hair.
my favourite flowers are anenomes.
i'm also fond of dahlias.
i'd like to trust people, but i won't.
and those i trust, i usually won't tell them i trust them.
if i look you in the eyes, consider it a compliment.
i find it rather frightening.
but not as scary as being sick.
i'm often scared.
being scared holds me back.
i am a wasteful girl.
a wasteful girl who wants to be told not to be,
i'll put a cockroach in your well made bed.