kumquat

i am up early.
yes, i'm complaining at being awake before nine.
and yes, i realize that i'm sure you wake up much, much earlier.
but this is stupid.
i shouldn't be awake.
i am only awake because i'm getting a blood test at ONE O'CLOCK.

stupid nerves.

i think i ate enough kappa maki to kill a small child last night.
or at least...
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hm. where to start.

saltspring was interesting and memorable and hopefully angelvanilla and fenris23 will still be able to talk to me after encountering the all knowing MEGABEAST!

my mother is a passive agressive crazy person so hopefully that won't be held against me.

i realized last night that i have a really distorted sense of time.
i thought it had been like a month...
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i've been struck with an introspective mood.
i'm actually looking forward to an hour or so on the ferry by myself.

i think i'll bring a book.
and my thoughts.
and something to write with.

i have a feeling.
i have a very interesting wonderful feeling in the pit of my gut.
a feeling of greatness.

creativity.
most important.

i want to create.
i need...
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the good news in my life first.
always first.
because who would want to die with just bad news in their throats.

my camera seems to be working. sort of. which is nice. quite nice actually.
there is a lovely boy i know, who is rediculously friendly and i've grown quite attached to him.
or maybe i just like him for his heavy bag.

speaking...
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saltspring was pretty good.
my mother was infuriating but that's normal.
children are weird.
mennonites are a hell of a lot more interesting than i expected.
skinny dipping is a wonderful feeling.
absolutely lovely.

i had a nice weekend too.
with a monkey who is rediculously nice to me.
illuminares is.
well.
i'm sure it's better if you're getting some.

today i am supposedly cleaning....
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so.
i am not very fond of cars at this moment.
today i was taking my cousins from the uk on a little sightseeing of vancouver.

the car.
the car decided it was much too warm.
much, much too warm.
so warm in fact it wanted to smoke to let a little heat off.

bleedin' 'eck.

but now we're back and we're all safe.

making...
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drama.
drama-drama-drama-drama-drama.


ENOUGH ALREADY!

i want to cuddle.
i want to colour.
i want to eat fresh fruits.

i'm going to run away to saltspring on thursday i think.
anyone want to run away with me?

it'll be..interesting.
promise.

i'm going to go masturbate with blueberries because they are just too delicious for words.

and finish my faerie picture.

i feel better for the repeating...
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running away.
running away to ladner.

seems scary.
but hey- needs to be done.

don't know how long i'll be there.
or where or whatever.

blah.

confusion.
mass motherfucking confusion.

but yes.
ladner shall be an interesting experiment in old monsters and hey, maybe some new ones.

i'll be hiding behind locked doors.

i am snoozy.
so motherfucking snoozy.

i've run away to ladner.
but ladner is scary.
i'll work my way into it i suppose.

yesterday.
yesterday i got to be helpful.
i measured.
i sawed.
i tried to hammer.
and i screwed.

crookedly and awkwardly.
but the best i could and i was proud.

i had a lovely partner in eddie for this.
and it was...
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went to the vampire doctor.
long appointment.
fucking draining, mind exploding stuff.

then got more tests.
yes, more tests.

that wasn't fun.
i was very nervous, very frightened.
but i made it.

then i went to bp.
thai pizza.
fucking yay.

and then abandonment happened.
fucker.

but the day is done and i'm going to go lie on the couch.