I dreamt we had had a fight and we kept talking on the phone. I could see him making phone calls to me, but I wasn't there. We were making up and I was riding the bus to meet him, and he would call again from somewhere else. Each time he called I could see him, and he was in more and more desolate surroundings, and he looked worse and worse even though we were making up. I was one bus ride away when he called and said his family was coming and he didn't want me to bother them or fuck things up for him, and I couldn't meet him. I was devastated. I was so scared and crying it woke me up; where you instantly sit up in bed crying, hyperventalating, and slowly calm down once you realize it was just a nightmare.
But for the first time in my life there was no calming down, since real life is so much more ugly than the dream was.
Part of me is dead. And he is dead to me. And a big part of me wants to crawl into a hole and die. And I wonder when I will at least be able to stop crying at the drop of a hat; because I am really so sad I can't help it. I'm trying.
But for the first time in my life there was no calming down, since real life is so much more ugly than the dream was.
Part of me is dead. And he is dead to me. And a big part of me wants to crawl into a hole and die. And I wonder when I will at least be able to stop crying at the drop of a hat; because I am really so sad I can't help it. I'm trying.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
project 'ass bomb'
material:
-fire cracker
-lighter
attire:
-skirt/no panties
instructions:
a. take a stroll down to the local super market
b. when no one is looking, insert fire cracker in butthole
c. go to festive, holiday isle
d. begin opening candy bags/boxes, etc., and consuming contents
e. when troglodyte employee asks you to stop, bend over and light fire cracker.
f. your strange behavior will confuse him
g. punch him in the face and briskly exit building.
(be sure to remove fire cracker from butthole before doing damage to yourself)
result:
grotesque amusement with self shall lead to a more satisfying day.
nightmares..both in mind and environment...can spin your head forever it seems.
we share too many experiences...though they differ slightly, they are definitely similar.
It's true. The Partridge Family is suppose to sound fun, groovy and exciting, and they do....but the lyrics bring more pain to a hurting heart. We know all to well.
sorry if this comment is chaotic but it's really late and I got drunk at the Death In June show tonight, so.....
xoxox