I made my appointment for my tattoos today! I'm getting them next friday!!! easyroad is going to do them for me! I'm getting a spider on my head, and I'm having the mushroom retouched. I'm so farging excited. Yay!!!
So I saw Field Trip, Tourist, and Arcweld down at AJ's this evening, and it was pretty cool. I'd never been to AJ's, nor had i heard any of the bands before, so it was an all new experience. I ran into Duone after the show, and a group of us just stood outside talking for over two hours. IT was quite cool.
I'm trucking my arse down to the farmer's market tomorrow, because a coworker has a photo from a friends going away party around new years, and i've been trying to get my copy for some while. Basically, its my coworker standing behind me, reaching over my shoulders to grab my breasts, and I'm looking up at her with my hands on her hair and face. We were all drunk at karaoke, and it was just one of those things that someone happened to catch with a camera. I'm excited about that.
I've been listening to music somewhat outside of my normal sphere of notice lately. For example, Iron and Wine does a cover of "Such Great Heights" by the Postal Service that is soooo amazing and beautiful I want to cry when I listen to it. It seems like all i want to hear lately is moody emotional stuff. I'm not really depressed per se, but i haven't been myself lately, and the music makes me feel less pathetic and alone. I keep hoping one of these mornings I'm going to wake up and discover i've snapped out of it sometime in the night, but i don't perceive that happening any time soon.
The funk started with last week's boy-related turmoil, and i'm just not bouncing back. It really has nothing to do with him anymore, I'm just fighting this spiral of inner voices. They keep telling me that i should expect this, that i'll never find anyone worth being with who will want me too, that i deserve to be alone, general tear down stuff like that. I know its all crap (I hope, anyway), but the voices persist, and i don't really have the energy to fight them off. I guess i was just getting really tired of being lonely, and being emotionally sucker-punched didn't exactly help me with that one.
On Tuesday I ran into the Nate from Mardi Gras, and we finally exchanged phone numbers. It was cool to see him again, cooler that he recognized me, and stiil more cool that he was excited to see me again too. Great as that was, I should probably stop kissing boys in bars when I'm drunk. The bounce in my step the next day does nothing for the ever-present ache in my chest. I guess I should try and sort out my inner turmoil before i go out and inflict myself upon the ungirded citizenry of our fair town. I don't need another semi-stalkerish ex who hates my guts or calls a zillion times a day. Oh well.
Whew, I really didn't expect this post to go down such a moody road. If anyone who read this has made it thus far without slitting their wrists, it's a stroke of pure luck. I'm going to go now and listen to beautifully sad rock in the dark. Why? Because I can, and because i need to cry right now. I'll see you all later. Goodnight.
So I saw Field Trip, Tourist, and Arcweld down at AJ's this evening, and it was pretty cool. I'd never been to AJ's, nor had i heard any of the bands before, so it was an all new experience. I ran into Duone after the show, and a group of us just stood outside talking for over two hours. IT was quite cool.
I'm trucking my arse down to the farmer's market tomorrow, because a coworker has a photo from a friends going away party around new years, and i've been trying to get my copy for some while. Basically, its my coworker standing behind me, reaching over my shoulders to grab my breasts, and I'm looking up at her with my hands on her hair and face. We were all drunk at karaoke, and it was just one of those things that someone happened to catch with a camera. I'm excited about that.
I've been listening to music somewhat outside of my normal sphere of notice lately. For example, Iron and Wine does a cover of "Such Great Heights" by the Postal Service that is soooo amazing and beautiful I want to cry when I listen to it. It seems like all i want to hear lately is moody emotional stuff. I'm not really depressed per se, but i haven't been myself lately, and the music makes me feel less pathetic and alone. I keep hoping one of these mornings I'm going to wake up and discover i've snapped out of it sometime in the night, but i don't perceive that happening any time soon.
The funk started with last week's boy-related turmoil, and i'm just not bouncing back. It really has nothing to do with him anymore, I'm just fighting this spiral of inner voices. They keep telling me that i should expect this, that i'll never find anyone worth being with who will want me too, that i deserve to be alone, general tear down stuff like that. I know its all crap (I hope, anyway), but the voices persist, and i don't really have the energy to fight them off. I guess i was just getting really tired of being lonely, and being emotionally sucker-punched didn't exactly help me with that one.
On Tuesday I ran into the Nate from Mardi Gras, and we finally exchanged phone numbers. It was cool to see him again, cooler that he recognized me, and stiil more cool that he was excited to see me again too. Great as that was, I should probably stop kissing boys in bars when I'm drunk. The bounce in my step the next day does nothing for the ever-present ache in my chest. I guess I should try and sort out my inner turmoil before i go out and inflict myself upon the ungirded citizenry of our fair town. I don't need another semi-stalkerish ex who hates my guts or calls a zillion times a day. Oh well.
Whew, I really didn't expect this post to go down such a moody road. If anyone who read this has made it thus far without slitting their wrists, it's a stroke of pure luck. I'm going to go now and listen to beautifully sad rock in the dark. Why? Because I can, and because i need to cry right now. I'll see you all later. Goodnight.
I love you. You are lovable. All i have to say is that in Corvallis the pickins are pretty slim. Even for normal people, and well, we're sort of weirdos, ya know? And i don't mean that offensively, just that I know you wouldn't be happy with any normal schmo or schmoette. Hence the whole loved back thing, i guess. Anyway, if it hadn't been for Greg i would be in the same boat. Although one thing i must say.....you do meet a lot more intelligent, interesting people going to college than going to bars and working at the Co-op. I miss that a little. There were a lot more people who were interested in me that i *could* have been interested in going to OSU, its just that i wasn't ready, and none of them were quite what i wanted until i met Greg. Its difficult.... So yeah, anyway, I love you, and i'm sorry your heart is hurting.
Iron and Wine is awesome, whether or not you are feeling super sad.
Ooooh tattoo.....i think i will be able to afford one in May sometime! I'm going to set up an appointment with easyroad too! I'm so exciteddddd!!!!!
Ugh....i gotta go, i have to work today......I am subbing for who knows who....i don't really want to but the only reason i said yes is i am getting four hours of overtime......thats like making a days worth of pay in four hours......oh yeah.
Ok bye darlin'.
-Leslie