EDIT: Just found out she is seeing someone. Fuck all. I need to stop caring.
Stormy times lay ahead...
Well, like I said, I spent the weekend working at Sakura Con. It was very interesting because although I have met people into Cos Play, I had never seen anyone dress up (other than a few random people last year when I was downtown and saw a bunch of ninjas and sailor moon characters running around). I'm not really into anime, mainly because I'm not big on the artwork, so it was kind of funny to be at this place where everyone was into anime and openly celebrated it. I was the freak all of the sudden. The one who didn't know that Angel Cage was simply an arc of the Angel Sanctuary series (whatever that means). Or that Yaoi is sexually explicit gay anime (pronounced kinda like yow-oy but mushed all together really fast). Or that tons and tons of people were into Yaoi. In my black hoody, band tshirt and jeans, I stuck out like a sore thumb. The only people who even remotely resembled me were the goths. But I don't wear eye makeup or a corset (although I bet that'd be damn sexy, huh?
). There were two punks with mohawks that came through, but they were gutter punks and I am into showering and don't wear leather jackets covered in studs. Sales were good. We sold $1300 worth of merchandise the first day, $2500 the second, and $1200 the third. Tyler was happy. Even paid me $50 for helping him and giving him a place to stay (even though he had bought me lunch and dinner the entire time he was here so I had already been amply taken care of!).
However, there is one catch. Tyler, who runs Nikaku Animart in Japantown in San Jose and was the one who had the booth at the convention, is a mutual friend of me and the ex-fiance. So she worked the second and third day. For the most part it was okay. We were friends for a long time in between the first and second times we dated, so we can be cordial and can get along for the most part and hang out. BUT she brought up the fact that I had told a mutual friend that the reason she broke up with me is that she wanted to fuck other guys. Now, #1 this was months ago (when she first broke up with me). #2 in the beginning all she told me was that she was too young to get married and needed to go out and have other experiences (including being with other guys). Here's the fucked up part (and I called her on it at that exact moment)... by not telling me the other things she wanted me to change, the other issues she had, I didn't know that they were problems. It wasn't until AFTER she broke up with me that I knew certain issues she had with me. So, basically, rather than communicating with me, and trying to work things out together (which I was trying to do, even offering to go into an open relationship for awhile if she wanted even though I didn't want to), she let the relationship die. When I pointed that out to her, it made her sad because maybe we could have salvaged the relationship. So, in some ways I felt vindicated because I tried everything I could within the knowledge I had to make things right. On the other hand, its maddening to know that maybe we could have worked things out. I had been doing so well at trying to get over her and this knowledge brings back all the hurt and pain. Maybe the best thing to do is to vilify her for it. Sure, I was at fault for many things, but it is a two way street. Just gotta keep up moving on with my life and then maybe happy times really lay ahead!
Stormy times lay ahead...
Well, like I said, I spent the weekend working at Sakura Con. It was very interesting because although I have met people into Cos Play, I had never seen anyone dress up (other than a few random people last year when I was downtown and saw a bunch of ninjas and sailor moon characters running around). I'm not really into anime, mainly because I'm not big on the artwork, so it was kind of funny to be at this place where everyone was into anime and openly celebrated it. I was the freak all of the sudden. The one who didn't know that Angel Cage was simply an arc of the Angel Sanctuary series (whatever that means). Or that Yaoi is sexually explicit gay anime (pronounced kinda like yow-oy but mushed all together really fast). Or that tons and tons of people were into Yaoi. In my black hoody, band tshirt and jeans, I stuck out like a sore thumb. The only people who even remotely resembled me were the goths. But I don't wear eye makeup or a corset (although I bet that'd be damn sexy, huh?
). There were two punks with mohawks that came through, but they were gutter punks and I am into showering and don't wear leather jackets covered in studs. Sales were good. We sold $1300 worth of merchandise the first day, $2500 the second, and $1200 the third. Tyler was happy. Even paid me $50 for helping him and giving him a place to stay (even though he had bought me lunch and dinner the entire time he was here so I had already been amply taken care of!).However, there is one catch. Tyler, who runs Nikaku Animart in Japantown in San Jose and was the one who had the booth at the convention, is a mutual friend of me and the ex-fiance. So she worked the second and third day. For the most part it was okay. We were friends for a long time in between the first and second times we dated, so we can be cordial and can get along for the most part and hang out. BUT she brought up the fact that I had told a mutual friend that the reason she broke up with me is that she wanted to fuck other guys. Now, #1 this was months ago (when she first broke up with me). #2 in the beginning all she told me was that she was too young to get married and needed to go out and have other experiences (including being with other guys). Here's the fucked up part (and I called her on it at that exact moment)... by not telling me the other things she wanted me to change, the other issues she had, I didn't know that they were problems. It wasn't until AFTER she broke up with me that I knew certain issues she had with me. So, basically, rather than communicating with me, and trying to work things out together (which I was trying to do, even offering to go into an open relationship for awhile if she wanted even though I didn't want to), she let the relationship die. When I pointed that out to her, it made her sad because maybe we could have salvaged the relationship. So, in some ways I felt vindicated because I tried everything I could within the knowledge I had to make things right. On the other hand, its maddening to know that maybe we could have worked things out. I had been doing so well at trying to get over her and this knowledge brings back all the hurt and pain. Maybe the best thing to do is to vilify her for it. Sure, I was at fault for many things, but it is a two way street. Just gotta keep up moving on with my life and then maybe happy times really lay ahead!
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