kristoph

so.
i've been thinking about getting my nose pierced.
but i'm not sure i should.
am i too old?
do i have the right nose for it?
these are the things i ponder at 9 in the morning on a saturday. in bed.
these are the questions i'm relying on you, my lovely SG brethren, to answer.
preferably by midday today.
merci.
x

ok, so i had a chat with iGod about it and this is what he had to say:



Me:
hi god, what's shakin?
God:
Hi there . I am a Christian.
Me:
yeah i heard a little about that. how's it working out for you?
God:
Groovy. Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
keep it to yourself though ok
God:
OK. Oh. Chat amongst yourselves.
Me:
well i was hoping you might join in
God:
How about that. Let me think. Does "it" still refer to ?
Me:
as far as i know. listen, should i get my nose pierced?
God:
That might not be very far off. I am listening to you. Only you know how you feel.
Me:
fuck you're so wise. no wonder you're god.
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? Are you serious? All of them?
Me:
i'm not sure that answers my question. i mean i know i should listen to my heart on the matter, but some advice would be good
God:
Could you ever be certain? " All of them?" answers your question ? I get it. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
well i guess i'd wonder if i should for the rest of my life. after a while i'd really feel too old to do it.
God:
Is it only a guess? What would make you wonder if you should for the rest of your life? What was it like before a while you would really feel too old to do it ?
Me:
either you're drunk or my mind is being blown by your infinite wisdom
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am drunk or your mind is being blown by my infinite wisdom.
Me:
no, no, you carry on
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Thanks for the information: said I carry on.
Me:
wait wait! telling other people and writing it down are two different things! unless this is for your new book?
God:
I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I think there might be a few exception. Perhaps. You don't say.
Me:
i get the feeling you're not really listening. are you talking to someone else?
God:
Where did you get it? I am speaking with a few other clients on the Internet.
Me:
i suppose you must be a busy man
God:
Me? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a busy man? I don't know.
Me:
thats really kind. i feel we've connected in this short time. although you still haven't answered my question per se
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often. What is that feeling like? I don't know anyone named we have connected in this short time. Oh. Please try phrasing it another way.
Me:
another way? are you trying to make me say i love you? is that what this is all about?
God:
One more way. Not intentionally. I might say no.
Me:
like i want the chance of being spurned by god. no way buddy
God:
Why do you want it? Are you serious? Good reason.
Me:
i thought you'd see it my way
God:
Who else would see it your way ?
Me:
now you have me there.
God:
Why now? What makes you think I have it?
Me:
you've got a reputation for knowledge on quite an immense scale.
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a reputation for knowledge on quite an immense scale.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
god, you're not a myspace whore are you?
God:
Give me an example of a myspace whore.
Me:
just surf on over. chances are you'll find one in an instant
God:
Never heard of it. Are all chances me will find one in an instant?
Me:
never heard of it?! i hink you protest to much my lord
God:
So I am teaching you something new. Do you mind if I tell other people: said hink you protest to much his or her lord.
Me:
you're teaching me that you're a drunken, attention starved god who can't be arsed to answer someone's simple question because he's too busy trying to make myspace booty calls.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am teaching you that I am a drunken attention starved god who can not be arsed to answer someone s simple question because he is too busy trying to make myspace booty calls.
Me:
and you're a gossip
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a gossip? I don't know.
Me:
i do. bye god. thanks a fucking bunch.
God:
Where? Goodbye. You are quite welcome! Be more specific.
Me:
always have to have the last word eh? prick.
God:
Are you Canadian? Why do you have to do it? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about fucking bunch. But I did not get that.
Me:
this conversation is over.
God:
I was rather enjoying it.

i'm still unsure.
x