Came to C town today, almost all of our laundry is done
Watching Stay Alive,
Had dinner and played games with the grandparents!
It's been a good night.
We told Gma of our problems, and she gave us food and money.
I don't know....
Brian wants to use it for SCHTUFF.
But I don't think that's cool.
She isn't going to help us out in order for us to use it for that.
Even if is our medicine.
I'm depressed. I felt good when over there, with the Gparents, and now....
We both just cried on Grandma's shoulders.
Bawled our eyes out.
I felt better. But now.... I feel like a charity case. Which is why we didn't ask for help anyway. It just makes me feel so useless and just hopeless.
Even if our plans have changed....
And I wrote to Em, mentioning that we aren't coming to Spokane and we'd talk about it, and she responded with
"That sucks ass", and "FUCK FUCK FUCK!" which was a 2 sentence response to half a page that I wrote her. She then sent another one saying So, you're staying in E Wen and Bri will be in California?
I told her yes, that we'd talk about it later. I knew I had to warn her, because of how she is. It isn't supposed to be personal. We have to do what is best for our life, and it sucks that that means we aren't moving to Spokane to live with her.
She left us. To go to Spokane and further her education, and it seems like when/if something like this doesn't go her way, she always freaks out. Which is why I had such problems talking to her about big things before.
I have to tell myself that she would do the same, it's our best and only option. I love her, she's one of my best friends. I'm tired of being miserable, and I don't want to have to deal with any grrr, why?> type of bullshit from her.
The time we couldnt' go with her somewhere, it was like the sky had fallen. She was so pissed off at us. She doesn't hide it. And if any bullshit starts to happen, I'll dish it right back. I can't handle it right now.
I feel like such a mess. I'm not happy because of the whole not having SCHTUFF thing... just being conflicted with everything. I need therapy.
I can't even gauge what mood I'm in, I'm so conflicted! The money Gma gave us, I don't want to use for anything but food. But we need our medicine.
I suppose I'll just have to think about it.... and see what happens. Another thing is just all the fucking people around. If Em is here, then that'll be a factor, spending almost every day with Darcy and Lexy are a factor. If we spend money on that, we WILL run out of food money. I know it.,
I'm going to go jump off a bridge now.
Watching Stay Alive,
Had dinner and played games with the grandparents!
It's been a good night.
We told Gma of our problems, and she gave us food and money.
I don't know....
Brian wants to use it for SCHTUFF.
But I don't think that's cool.
She isn't going to help us out in order for us to use it for that.
Even if is our medicine.
I'm depressed. I felt good when over there, with the Gparents, and now....
We both just cried on Grandma's shoulders.
Bawled our eyes out.
I felt better. But now.... I feel like a charity case. Which is why we didn't ask for help anyway. It just makes me feel so useless and just hopeless.
Even if our plans have changed....
And I wrote to Em, mentioning that we aren't coming to Spokane and we'd talk about it, and she responded with
"That sucks ass", and "FUCK FUCK FUCK!" which was a 2 sentence response to half a page that I wrote her. She then sent another one saying So, you're staying in E Wen and Bri will be in California?
I told her yes, that we'd talk about it later. I knew I had to warn her, because of how she is. It isn't supposed to be personal. We have to do what is best for our life, and it sucks that that means we aren't moving to Spokane to live with her.
She left us. To go to Spokane and further her education, and it seems like when/if something like this doesn't go her way, she always freaks out. Which is why I had such problems talking to her about big things before.
I have to tell myself that she would do the same, it's our best and only option. I love her, she's one of my best friends. I'm tired of being miserable, and I don't want to have to deal with any grrr, why?> type of bullshit from her.
The time we couldnt' go with her somewhere, it was like the sky had fallen. She was so pissed off at us. She doesn't hide it. And if any bullshit starts to happen, I'll dish it right back. I can't handle it right now.
I feel like such a mess. I'm not happy because of the whole not having SCHTUFF thing... just being conflicted with everything. I need therapy.
I can't even gauge what mood I'm in, I'm so conflicted! The money Gma gave us, I don't want to use for anything but food. But we need our medicine.
I suppose I'll just have to think about it.... and see what happens. Another thing is just all the fucking people around. If Em is here, then that'll be a factor, spending almost every day with Darcy and Lexy are a factor. If we spend money on that, we WILL run out of food money. I know it.,
I'm going to go jump off a bridge now.