Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

kpan

United Kingdom

Member Since 2005

Followers 61 Following 68

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Tuesday May 06, 2008

May 5, 2008
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Well Life has smiled on me over the weekend and I have been reminded how damn lucky I am to be married to the most amazing, considerate, compassionate woman.....she deserves so much better than I give her.
Thank You my Love for hanging on in there love
She took me out sun night and I got soooo drunk...apparantly I was very amusing/annoying in equal measures....bad hangover all day monday.....still a bit rough todayfrown
I have been very depressed latley....can't really put my finger on why........i just think I have a tendancy to crash and fall into a dark place sometimes....very hard to pull myself out once I am there....and once there everything is dark....work, love, health....I just see how f@cked it all is.... i retreat from the world and all becomes very bleak....i get so angry.........its weird...i have done a lot of therapeutic work on myself over the years and yet this self knowledge never prevents me from sinking under....maybe it helps to pull me out again?? This weekend however I believe something very fundamental shifted in my consciousness. I felt a clarity around my partner that I had not felt for a long time...we have lived apart for 2 years...we both like our own space...the relationship has struggled to adjust to this new way and I had been seriously considering walking away from it...but this weekend I just felt so much love...so clear...like ...how can I not see...How can I not feel this all the time....its another beginning I guess....i know there will come times when its dark again...its been like that all my life...I get depressed....but can I hold onto this new core feeling when all around is bleak.....time will tell. Thank you all for your supportive words and messages of late.
S'funny but when I was at my lowest ebb this was a place I still felt I could come and try to communicate....I think it pulled me out of my stupour.Yay for internets....they is ur frenz smile

Another shot from the waterfall series.......enjoy.

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
apydiagirls:
Hey, thanks for the kind comment! No problem, hope you have fun trying out the technique! I think your water shots are excellent btw, I've never had much success with that kind of shot, good work! : )
May 13, 2008
sockpuppet:
heya

I ran across this by chance; thought you might be interested.
May 22, 2008

More Blogs

  • 11.25.11
    4

    Friday Nov 25, 2011

    I'm off...not really spending time here these days, even in photo gro…
  • 11.19.11
    2

    Saturday Nov 19, 2011

  • 11.04.11
    3

    Friday Nov 04, 2011

    Read More
  • 10.31.11
    1

    Tuesday Nov 01, 2011

    A short film made in Senegal at the house that Kpan built during a vi…
  • 10.30.11
    1

    Monday Oct 31, 2011

    Read More
  • 10.24.11
    1

    Monday Oct 24, 2011

    Read More
  • 10.19.11
    2

    Wednesday Oct 19, 2011

    Read More
  • 10.19.11
    0

    Wednesday Oct 19, 2011

    Read More
  • 10.04.11
    3

    Tuesday Oct 04, 2011

    Read More
  • 09.26.11
    7

    Monday Sep 26, 2011

    Just finished reading John Grey's 'Straw Dogs: Thoughts on humans and…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

25
years
1
month
14
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,712 SuicideGirls
  • 1,113,818 followers
  • 15,160,925 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,906,542 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | Safety Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Complaint / Content Removal Policy | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2026

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo
logo

This is an adult website.

You must be at least 18 years old to enter. Click below to confirm.

Cookies must be enabled to use the site and save your age confirmation.

Exit