BACK IN THE PRC
Berlin trip done. Flew back in jetlagged and weary on Thursday morning, propelled myself through the day awake only to see my girl after she got off work, and greeted her with the booty of the first world.
I have to say I was very impressed by Berlin. Cheap (by Western developed country standards), delicious (whether German or Turkish), alcoholic (rolling on open streets with open cans), and kinky (assorted leggings and stockings hanging on proud display on like 50% of all shops). My spare luggage contained chocolates, stockings,,restraints, books, and absinthe.
But after living in the Third World for a while, I come over to Germany and think, God what the hell do these people DO for a living? Drink coffee and beer? And people serving are all Turkish. Where's the factories? Where's the migrant workers? Why do all the shops close at the ridiculous hour of 8 pm? In terms of economic disparities and inequalities, the same as the States, but it's always the small little differences that fascinate. Like how when you get change at a restaurant it comes from a purse not a cash machine and how nudity comes free on late night broadcast channels.
I didn't hit a single site of cultural significance, except the random bits of the wall I occassionally bumped into while walking face down in my map. Was just glad to get away from the go-go-go of China for a while.
Saw a bunch of films too. I highly recommend The Road to Guantanemo, which won best director. I saw Christopher Doyle speak. That's an a photo from his talk. As usual he was drunk, but just drunk enough to retain coherence and drag a little zen truth from heaven down to the auditorium. He's the closest thing the world's got to Mic Jagger nowadays. Fucking rock star of the film world.
I got along splendidly with my boss, so well in fact people we met couldn't help but thinking that this 40-year old Chinese woman and this Harry Potter lookalike were engaged in some strange sex relationship.
Back in PRC, can't help but feel the post-adventure letdown. I feel the two ghosts I run from - the one inside me that says I should be doing better and the one outside, which says everyone else is doing better - closing in again.
I went to the hospital for a full day of testing. Anyone who has been to a Chinese hospital knows how exhausting that is. Maze-like buildings, doctor's offices without secretaries, people barging in to the examination room when there are already two or more people crammed inside with needles or whatever sticking out all orifices, instruments of dubious sterility. Saw my heart, my lungs, my sinuses. After all that and a surprising bang to my threadbare wallet, the results: all negative.
Three docs advice: well maybe you can't breath because of psychological reasons, you fucking nuthead.
So these days I am trying to get my head screwed on right. Something I only wish I tried to do earlier. Now that I'm 25, cute psychological quirks are annoying psychological pathologies, that seem to be hard-wired into my personality.
I think the letdown might also have to do with me and my good friend China. Whities from the West are flooding into the city in even greater numbers now. Living here seems less of an adventure to me. Can't decide whether it's time to move on to the next thing, or settle down for a while.
In any case, in the meantime there's sex drugs and alcohol.
Berlin trip done. Flew back in jetlagged and weary on Thursday morning, propelled myself through the day awake only to see my girl after she got off work, and greeted her with the booty of the first world.
I have to say I was very impressed by Berlin. Cheap (by Western developed country standards), delicious (whether German or Turkish), alcoholic (rolling on open streets with open cans), and kinky (assorted leggings and stockings hanging on proud display on like 50% of all shops). My spare luggage contained chocolates, stockings,,restraints, books, and absinthe.
But after living in the Third World for a while, I come over to Germany and think, God what the hell do these people DO for a living? Drink coffee and beer? And people serving are all Turkish. Where's the factories? Where's the migrant workers? Why do all the shops close at the ridiculous hour of 8 pm? In terms of economic disparities and inequalities, the same as the States, but it's always the small little differences that fascinate. Like how when you get change at a restaurant it comes from a purse not a cash machine and how nudity comes free on late night broadcast channels.
I didn't hit a single site of cultural significance, except the random bits of the wall I occassionally bumped into while walking face down in my map. Was just glad to get away from the go-go-go of China for a while.
Saw a bunch of films too. I highly recommend The Road to Guantanemo, which won best director. I saw Christopher Doyle speak. That's an a photo from his talk. As usual he was drunk, but just drunk enough to retain coherence and drag a little zen truth from heaven down to the auditorium. He's the closest thing the world's got to Mic Jagger nowadays. Fucking rock star of the film world.
I got along splendidly with my boss, so well in fact people we met couldn't help but thinking that this 40-year old Chinese woman and this Harry Potter lookalike were engaged in some strange sex relationship.
Back in PRC, can't help but feel the post-adventure letdown. I feel the two ghosts I run from - the one inside me that says I should be doing better and the one outside, which says everyone else is doing better - closing in again.
I went to the hospital for a full day of testing. Anyone who has been to a Chinese hospital knows how exhausting that is. Maze-like buildings, doctor's offices without secretaries, people barging in to the examination room when there are already two or more people crammed inside with needles or whatever sticking out all orifices, instruments of dubious sterility. Saw my heart, my lungs, my sinuses. After all that and a surprising bang to my threadbare wallet, the results: all negative.
Three docs advice: well maybe you can't breath because of psychological reasons, you fucking nuthead.
So these days I am trying to get my head screwed on right. Something I only wish I tried to do earlier. Now that I'm 25, cute psychological quirks are annoying psychological pathologies, that seem to be hard-wired into my personality.
I think the letdown might also have to do with me and my good friend China. Whities from the West are flooding into the city in even greater numbers now. Living here seems less of an adventure to me. Can't decide whether it's time to move on to the next thing, or settle down for a while.
In any case, in the meantime there's sex drugs and alcohol.
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...the french channel I was watching tonight (it's still night this side of the planet) just broadcasted Li Yang's Blind Shaft, as part of a program about Berlin festival.... I hadn't viewed it before. My first impression: ouch.