I wanna create blackened symphonic death metal and do nerdy shit among other things with my girlfriend. I don't know how to compose music apart from drums and I don't have a girlfriend. I'm only into tall (5'7" to 5'11") skinny girls with pretty faces. I'm not really looking to tour or releasing an album. What I want is a lifelong commitment and eventually, in a decade or two, it's going to sound amazing. I want her to be my best friend. Perhaps I'm asking for too much, but what-fucking-ever. I'm getting kinda good at this being forever alone mentality. I'm just gonna keep practising.
I like songs and stories about love. Sometimes they feel depressing. I must be somesort of a masochist. Everyday I'm trying to shut these thoughts off with little success. Often times I try to pretend everyone else has just ceased to exist, that I am the only being on this planet all alone just doing my thing solely for my own pleasure. The thought of that gives me solace at times, but then I always have facebook open reminding me that all these interesting girls exist. Sometimes I like to think that I am a dragon, a vampire or some kind of a demonic unicorn above all these puny human feelings and desires.
I crave the cuddles and companionship more than sex.
Today I was having erections through the day though, had to pleasure myself several times.
