Today meanwhile I was searching a photograph on my dropbox account I found a very curious image. It was an Screen Capture from last November when my beloved demon told me how much he loved me and missed me. I tryed to not cry but I couldn’t, those words, full of meaning, full of love… Killed me. I try to be strong for myself, I try to not feel a thing when accidentally I butt with memories of better times, memories with words full of meaning, memories that only are in the past because maybe it won’t happen ever again. Sometimes it’s so hard, keep the strength day after day, keep the mask of fake smiles in my face, triyng to convince myself that I shouldn’t feel nothing except hate.
But, even here, alone in my bedroom missing his essence, his laugh, his voice, his arms arround me, the little sparkle on his black eyes… Even here alone, I can’t hate him.
I just love him more day after day.
“Waking up and think that you are the peace that blindly I refused to find, that foolishly hurt, dawn with the euphoria of have hugged you again it's fascinating, you freeze me, you with your words and your gaze, you and only you make my body tremble, stop, grieve and gladden, maybe I was a fool for wanted to keep away, but if there’s something true, my love, it’s that I’ve been never inquiet with myself… I love you, I missed you and I’m still here by and for you.”
