And we still have no idea what is wrong with my heart. 5000 dollar deductible later and i’m told that I need more tests.
I managed to get away with only telling one person in my immediate family. I’m happy about that, as nervous as I was I think I came out stronger. I have always known I could get along fine alone. I would prefer to not be alone but I am hard wired to stay alone. I swear my mind totally wants me dead (I won’t allow it). But it always presents the most self destructive ideas to me. Sometimes I do foolishly follow them and lose some amazing people on the way. That is one but I have yet to figure out..I hope i figure it out soon. We’ll see