korbendallas

My doctor has referred me to a psychiatrist. He believes that I may be battling depression or be bipolar. Not sure I agree but nevertheless I will go talk to him. Although I know my mind doesn't function like most typical ones it's never been anything I couldn't control (for the most part). I know this is cliche but my mind runs like an out of control freight train. It's a very worst case scenario brain and no matter how obviously unreal the scenario it desperately tries to make it seem real to me. there have been days (and I fee stupid admitting those) where I will literally yell to myself/brain. What the fuck are you doing? I know for a fact that idea/scenario is not real. Why the fuck are you obsessing over it? Quit your fucking bullshit. Yet my mind keeps at it. It's kind of silly but I've actually becomes enraged at myself for thoughts I felt were stupid yet my mind keeps trying to convince me are real. I'm not sure if this makes any sense because I don't really know how to explain it. I've never really told anyone about this (and no one has ever really taken the time to ask). Thankfully I don't really let affect aside from making me a grouch at times But it is getting worse. I am not sure why I am telling you all this. Think it might be my way of reaching out but knowing that no one really reads my posts a way to tell myself I tried with no results. Not sure when I'll go see this psychiatrist. All in due time I suppose. Hope all is well on your ends. Now for some music. Music for me is really the best therapy. It's the only consistent thing I have ever had in my life. And I love it 🎶❤️