Karma is bullshit. Period. End of story.
I decided to go out tonight to a gay club called the Majestic that I've gone to before. I thought, "Hey, it's Halloween, I've not gone out for months really, so I'd better go out tonight." I dressed up in the kinda outfit I used to wear to bondage clubs, even wore my collar, which I'm sensitive about wearing because people might take advantage of it. I looked good, imo. I went, had a couple of beers. Saw a cute, kinda young girl, curvy, all gothed up, corset. I hit on her. I never hit on girls in clubs or bars, especially not a gay club. And even more amazing, she liked me, but she was taken. If not for that, things would've turned out differently...
Anyway, I went. I had a good time, enjoyed the busy crowd, ran into an ex-bf I hadn't seen in 7 years. Only complaints I had were that I was going home alone and that I didn't get one last beer before they cut off service, the line was too long. Both were fine, not bad things, didn't ruin my night. I left feeling good.
I parked at the Gypsy Coffeehouse, it's open late and I had my PSP with me, so I thought I'd go in, get a pop and croissant and surf the net for a few minutes.
Let me stop here and say that part of what I chose to wear tonight was jewelry. This is stuff I've not worn for 2 years almost because the bracelet is a bronze torque used at my handfasting to my ex. The ring I wore? Was the engagement ring.
Let me also backtrack here and say that the one person in this world I well and truly HATE..caps cannot emphasize that enough...The one person I want to see turned into a picture that'd shock the Rigor Mortis group, is my ex. I never got closure from her. Period. She moved on within a week or so of us calling things off when we were still living together, she got some new asshole and things were hunky-fucking-dory for her...while we were still living together. And she never apologized for how much that fucked me up, never seemed to realize that she killed me because I well and truly wanted to spend my fucking life with her, even if I had gone through a period where I didn't show it as much as I should have. For 2 years, I have been fucking HAUNTED by that dirty cunt, knowing that we run in similar social circles, avoiding going out because if I saw her, I would want to pound her face into concrete.
Needless to say, she was at the coffeehouse and greeted me like it was no big deal. I couldn't even fucking look at her. I hastily ordered a Dr. Pepper and a hershey bar, gave the barister the whole $5 and got the hell out of dodge. I drove home, on the edge of my fucking seat, trying to not drive fast, trying not to freak out and hit something with my fists.
I'd been doing better lately. I had to put my cat down because she was suffering and never learned to compensate for her brain condition and was going on the floor constantly, not even moving her tail. Other than that? Life hadn't been that bad. Got a fuck buddy lined up all nice and regular like, hadn't smoked or drank anything for weeks, I got up today and got stuff done. It looked like I had some chance at a normal fucking life, which is all I ask for.
Who's idea was it that I should run into her on the same night I'm wearing that shit that meant something? Why is it that anytime I try and get a life, I fucking run into that cunt?
I'm honestly ready to pack away all my nice clothes I wear when I go out, all my bondage and fetish toys, and just become a WoW addict and an ascetic. I can't go out in this fucking piece of shit town because the scene for non-mainstreamers is so fucking small, I'm going to see her. And I'm going to want to take a crowbar to her goddamn head.
I live my life, I try to be nice to everyone, respect everyone, and just plain be decent. I wanted one night. And it got ruined in 5 minutes thanks to her.
I decided to go out tonight to a gay club called the Majestic that I've gone to before. I thought, "Hey, it's Halloween, I've not gone out for months really, so I'd better go out tonight." I dressed up in the kinda outfit I used to wear to bondage clubs, even wore my collar, which I'm sensitive about wearing because people might take advantage of it. I looked good, imo. I went, had a couple of beers. Saw a cute, kinda young girl, curvy, all gothed up, corset. I hit on her. I never hit on girls in clubs or bars, especially not a gay club. And even more amazing, she liked me, but she was taken. If not for that, things would've turned out differently...
Anyway, I went. I had a good time, enjoyed the busy crowd, ran into an ex-bf I hadn't seen in 7 years. Only complaints I had were that I was going home alone and that I didn't get one last beer before they cut off service, the line was too long. Both were fine, not bad things, didn't ruin my night. I left feeling good.
I parked at the Gypsy Coffeehouse, it's open late and I had my PSP with me, so I thought I'd go in, get a pop and croissant and surf the net for a few minutes.
Let me stop here and say that part of what I chose to wear tonight was jewelry. This is stuff I've not worn for 2 years almost because the bracelet is a bronze torque used at my handfasting to my ex. The ring I wore? Was the engagement ring.
Let me also backtrack here and say that the one person in this world I well and truly HATE..caps cannot emphasize that enough...The one person I want to see turned into a picture that'd shock the Rigor Mortis group, is my ex. I never got closure from her. Period. She moved on within a week or so of us calling things off when we were still living together, she got some new asshole and things were hunky-fucking-dory for her...while we were still living together. And she never apologized for how much that fucked me up, never seemed to realize that she killed me because I well and truly wanted to spend my fucking life with her, even if I had gone through a period where I didn't show it as much as I should have. For 2 years, I have been fucking HAUNTED by that dirty cunt, knowing that we run in similar social circles, avoiding going out because if I saw her, I would want to pound her face into concrete.
Needless to say, she was at the coffeehouse and greeted me like it was no big deal. I couldn't even fucking look at her. I hastily ordered a Dr. Pepper and a hershey bar, gave the barister the whole $5 and got the hell out of dodge. I drove home, on the edge of my fucking seat, trying to not drive fast, trying not to freak out and hit something with my fists.
I'd been doing better lately. I had to put my cat down because she was suffering and never learned to compensate for her brain condition and was going on the floor constantly, not even moving her tail. Other than that? Life hadn't been that bad. Got a fuck buddy lined up all nice and regular like, hadn't smoked or drank anything for weeks, I got up today and got stuff done. It looked like I had some chance at a normal fucking life, which is all I ask for.
Who's idea was it that I should run into her on the same night I'm wearing that shit that meant something? Why is it that anytime I try and get a life, I fucking run into that cunt?
I'm honestly ready to pack away all my nice clothes I wear when I go out, all my bondage and fetish toys, and just become a WoW addict and an ascetic. I can't go out in this fucking piece of shit town because the scene for non-mainstreamers is so fucking small, I'm going to see her. And I'm going to want to take a crowbar to her goddamn head.
I live my life, I try to be nice to everyone, respect everyone, and just plain be decent. I wanted one night. And it got ruined in 5 minutes thanks to her.
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Maybe you should move? It helped me a lot.