koffee

I'm tired.

I dont want to go to boston for that wedding...I mean, what if I get lost in the midwest with a bunch of rednecks. :p

I don't really want to drive to beverly hills for that record label internship.

I want to get that side project going with my mate oscar meyer and make some money in the south bay.

and I want soju......with fried chicken.
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Working at an old's people's home is like the worst. Not only does it smell like the dead and dirty diapers for adults, but you get a glimpse of your own future where you are a trapped in your own body and the only hope of the future is within death. I can only wish that I won't be strapped to a wheel chair due to brittle bones, be able to speak more than 2 words at a time, and not be one of those patients who is ignored due to repetitive cries for "help."

now that I think about it, I don't want to live past 65.

There was this one old lady who could hardly see anymore...her name was Faye. Whenever someone would walk by she would reach out for them hoping for some human contact. The first time I took care of her, she grabbed my hands...rubbed it and kissed it over with her whiskered lips. I was repulsed at first because I'm not used to old people touching me, but then I was surprised at how human she still felt...which was warm and soft. Despite my discomfort, when she said she was cold... I rubbed her back to make her feel warm.


.....I wanted to stay there until 4:30 so I get more hours, but I couldn't handle it...and listening to the singing from a bunch of 1970 preachers and this one danny devito penguin looking dood, just made everything all the more painful to bear. so I left at 12 sharp. I don't even feel like going today.........

The highlights of that day though was that it was funny to hear a black old lady telling me to get my ass out of her face when I was reaching for a chair...it was pretty hilarious. There was this other cute latina grandma who reminded me a street import driver. She would cruise around the care center in her wheelchair and drift out of the way when people came her way. I also saw a chinese granny watch a korean drama and I had fun tossing a balloon with a few old people.

I noticed that alot of the old people had their own wheelchairs. At first, I thought they were assigned one by the care center but apparently, they bought it themselves. Some of the wheelchairs were old and some were the metallic colors you'd see on mountain bikes. It made me wonder if those wheelchairs are looked upon like laptops that younger generations would gloat about having........I wonder if those grandma's and pa's show off their new upgraded pull handle bar that helps move the wheelchair forward with each jerk....or do they fawn over how easy and smooth the ride is with their new rubber wheels...

I doubt it...because they hardly talk like adults........

all in all, I hope to learn some empathy from all this...I'm already humbled......but ....something about me is not right.......at that place.