kobi

So I bought a few scratch tickets why I don't know? I am tempted to just wait until they expire till I scratch them because that is prety much the odds of me winning anything usefull . we'll see if I can actually wait prolly not.

I bought a new cd today the band is Okkervil River the song that I was turned on to is called for real . I like that song the only problem is that the instraments are recourded at to high a level and it s distorted in a oops I fucked up way. ...maybe thats why I like the song so much too of course the lyrics are fucking good too that helps allot . you could pull anything off with good lyrics.

I have been kind of bummed lately well for the last two days or so, I miss her company her voice and her eyes, I wonder if I well be lucky enough to see her again and just talk and be friends to care about each other and be happy about what we shared with each other at one time.
love hurts
Why is it that it hurts so bad and no matter what you do to try to cover the pain it comes and haunts you at some point. There is no hiding from it, you cant drink it away because when you try it bites you in the ass when you've soberd up weeks later. You can try to make up excuses to hate her but it always fails.The pain is here now, and I guess I just got to let it hurt for the time being and let myself heal.

I dont like being depressed I just found out what it was like to be happy now I'm back at the begining. I guess the good thing of it would be I can wrtie music again. In case you didn't know I was depressed for a long time and the only music I could write was dark industrial noise, once I got all happy n shit I couldn't write a damn thing because a had know clue to what happy music is made of.

anyway this is by far the longest journal entry I have written so I hope you were just a little entertain by the shit that goes on in my head.

night night.