From the brilliant mind of (and new book from) Bill Mahr, "The New New Rules" (this New Rule originally broadcast on May 6, 2011):
Now that its become clear that the Republicans, the fiscally conservative/strong on defense party, are neither fiscally conservative nor strong on defense, they have to tell us what exactly it is that theyre good at. Because its not defense. 9/11 happened on your watch. And you retaliated by invading the wrong country. And you lost a ten-year game of hide-and-seek with Osama bin Laden. And youre responsible for running up most of our debt, which more than anything makes us weak. Youre supposed to be the party with the killer instinct, but it was a Democrat who put a bomb in Khadhafis bedroom and a bullet in Bin Ladens eye like Moe Green in The Godfather, raising the question: How many Muslims does a black guy have to kill in one weekend before crackers climb down off his ass?
Lets look at some facts. For you Fox News viewers, feel free to turn down the sound until the flashing FACTS light at the bottom of your screen disappears. When Bill Clinton left office in 2001, the Congressional Budget Office predicted that by the end of the decade, we would have paid off the entire debt and have a $2 trillion surplus. Instead, we have a $10.5 trillion public debt, and the difference in those two numbers is mostly because the Republicans put tax cuts for the rich, the prescription drug plan, and two wars on the layaway plan, and then bailed on the check. So so much for fiscal responsibility.
But hey, at least they still had the defense thing, right? The public still believed Republicans were tougher when it came to hunting down dark-skinned foreigners with funny sounding names. But Bush had seven years to get Osama bin Laden. He didnt. He got Wesley Snipes. Only six months after 9/11, Bush said he didnt spend that much time on Bin Laden and that he was no longer concerned about him. Just as he wasnt before 9/11, when he blew off that mysterious, inscrutable memo entitled Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the U.S. In under a year, Bush went from Who gives a shit? to Wanted: Dead or Alive and back to Who gives a shit? Why focus on a terrorist who reduced Wall Street to rubble when you can help Wall Street reduce the whole country to rubble?
In 2008, the candidates were asked, if they knew for sure that Bin Laden was in Pakistan, would you send our guys in without permission to get him? McCain said no, because Pakistan is a sovereign nation. Obama said yes, hed just do it, and McCain called him nave. Whos being nave, Kay? And why cant you just admit that Obama is one efficient, steely nerved, multitasking black-ninja gangsta president? In one week, he produced his birth certificate, comforted disaster victims, swung by Florida to say hey to Gabby Giffords, did stand-up at the Correspondents Dinner, and then personally rappelled into Bin Ladens lair and put a Chinese star through his throat without waking up any of his thirteen wives. Thats how it went down. I saw it on MSNBC.
Thirty percent of the country will always vote Republican Im just asking why. Yes, paranoia, greed and racism are fun, but its like when you see someone driving a Mercury. You think: Did that person really wake up one day thinking, You know what car I want to drive? A Mercury Mariner. No, you assume he knows someone who sells them. Or he was molested by a Kia dealer as a child.
I know this all sound like harsh truth, but Republicans are supposed to be the party of harsh truths. Like theres no such thing as a free lunch. And speaking of lunch, I think Obama just ate yours.
Now that its become clear that the Republicans, the fiscally conservative/strong on defense party, are neither fiscally conservative nor strong on defense, they have to tell us what exactly it is that theyre good at. Because its not defense. 9/11 happened on your watch. And you retaliated by invading the wrong country. And you lost a ten-year game of hide-and-seek with Osama bin Laden. And youre responsible for running up most of our debt, which more than anything makes us weak. Youre supposed to be the party with the killer instinct, but it was a Democrat who put a bomb in Khadhafis bedroom and a bullet in Bin Ladens eye like Moe Green in The Godfather, raising the question: How many Muslims does a black guy have to kill in one weekend before crackers climb down off his ass?
Lets look at some facts. For you Fox News viewers, feel free to turn down the sound until the flashing FACTS light at the bottom of your screen disappears. When Bill Clinton left office in 2001, the Congressional Budget Office predicted that by the end of the decade, we would have paid off the entire debt and have a $2 trillion surplus. Instead, we have a $10.5 trillion public debt, and the difference in those two numbers is mostly because the Republicans put tax cuts for the rich, the prescription drug plan, and two wars on the layaway plan, and then bailed on the check. So so much for fiscal responsibility.
But hey, at least they still had the defense thing, right? The public still believed Republicans were tougher when it came to hunting down dark-skinned foreigners with funny sounding names. But Bush had seven years to get Osama bin Laden. He didnt. He got Wesley Snipes. Only six months after 9/11, Bush said he didnt spend that much time on Bin Laden and that he was no longer concerned about him. Just as he wasnt before 9/11, when he blew off that mysterious, inscrutable memo entitled Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the U.S. In under a year, Bush went from Who gives a shit? to Wanted: Dead or Alive and back to Who gives a shit? Why focus on a terrorist who reduced Wall Street to rubble when you can help Wall Street reduce the whole country to rubble?
In 2008, the candidates were asked, if they knew for sure that Bin Laden was in Pakistan, would you send our guys in without permission to get him? McCain said no, because Pakistan is a sovereign nation. Obama said yes, hed just do it, and McCain called him nave. Whos being nave, Kay? And why cant you just admit that Obama is one efficient, steely nerved, multitasking black-ninja gangsta president? In one week, he produced his birth certificate, comforted disaster victims, swung by Florida to say hey to Gabby Giffords, did stand-up at the Correspondents Dinner, and then personally rappelled into Bin Ladens lair and put a Chinese star through his throat without waking up any of his thirteen wives. Thats how it went down. I saw it on MSNBC.
Thirty percent of the country will always vote Republican Im just asking why. Yes, paranoia, greed and racism are fun, but its like when you see someone driving a Mercury. You think: Did that person really wake up one day thinking, You know what car I want to drive? A Mercury Mariner. No, you assume he knows someone who sells them. Or he was molested by a Kia dealer as a child.
I know this all sound like harsh truth, but Republicans are supposed to be the party of harsh truths. Like theres no such thing as a free lunch. And speaking of lunch, I think Obama just ate yours.