so, for years I've been slowly figuring out what fucked me up and caused me to be into these kind of girls
I figured out another thing that had a hand in it
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silverpoet:
I see, well my whole infacuation with "goths" came out of nowhere. I think this one girl I had a HUGE crush on years ago may have contributed to it. She was the one that mentioned this website. 
estrada:
Shoegazing music warped my brain!