Blah. Okay sorry, I've been gone. Like crazy gone. No literally, crazy gone. At the moment I am quite screwed. Lost every one of my jobs, cant find a new one. Car is still broke, have no phone, and 3 dollars to my name. What fun huh. Yeah so if anyone in Michigan knows of a job fast, tell me!
Anyways, now that's out of the way. Lets get back to normal blogging.
-I'm tempted to go buy lottery tickets with my last 3 dollars. Maybe I'll be that feel good story of the year of the broke dude who wins the lottery.
-In an attempt to borrow money from my sister, I think I will attempt to give her my computer as collateral. Horrible idea except I have 3 computers.
-I found a coat in my closet that I have no idea who it belongs to except it has a zipper on the wrong side, making it a girls coat. I don't recall having any women over though...Maybe I have some super-secret hidden personality that gets laid a lot. Pbbfft.
-Paypal is retarded. My account has been hacked like 3 times now. Thankfully the .01 in it appears to be safe.
-I'd consider turning to a life of crime since it seems easy. If I ever get caught I could just pick some other asian guy and be like "It was him! You know all us asians look alike!"
-Hint of Lime Tostitos are good. Eat them.
-Heroes is still good. Still waiting to see the Masi Oka dude on the street so I can mug him and hide him in my basement, then take over his identity.
-I have a mountain of laundry to do.
-Amazing, I put up my broken car and craigslist for 500 bucks, and I've gotten 4 emails in the past 15 minutes
Okay hrmm, interesting funny/stupid/wierd story time.
Here we go, long story but I'll make it short so you get the point.
Ready?
K.
Gay friend is on a road trip with straight friends. Striaight friends decide "ZOMG ASIAN MASSAGE PARLOR, LETS GO GET SOME!"
Friends don't know gay friend is gay, so he goes just to play along.
Gay friend ends up with 40 year old asian woman. Woman offers him sex for 100, blowjob for 75, handjob for 50. Friend declines all. 40 year old asian woman says fine, 40 dollars for handjob, and demands friend gets it, so he gets it.
Long story short. Woman spends next 15 minutes trying to get friend hard, and next 30 minutes after that trying to get him off to no avail.
All three get kicked out of "Massage" Parlor.
Sorry, feeling lazy. It's a lot funnier in person, cuz I do the asian hooker voice real well.
Anyways, now that's out of the way. Lets get back to normal blogging.
-I'm tempted to go buy lottery tickets with my last 3 dollars. Maybe I'll be that feel good story of the year of the broke dude who wins the lottery.
-In an attempt to borrow money from my sister, I think I will attempt to give her my computer as collateral. Horrible idea except I have 3 computers.
-I found a coat in my closet that I have no idea who it belongs to except it has a zipper on the wrong side, making it a girls coat. I don't recall having any women over though...Maybe I have some super-secret hidden personality that gets laid a lot. Pbbfft.
-Paypal is retarded. My account has been hacked like 3 times now. Thankfully the .01 in it appears to be safe.
-I'd consider turning to a life of crime since it seems easy. If I ever get caught I could just pick some other asian guy and be like "It was him! You know all us asians look alike!"
-Hint of Lime Tostitos are good. Eat them.
-Heroes is still good. Still waiting to see the Masi Oka dude on the street so I can mug him and hide him in my basement, then take over his identity.
-I have a mountain of laundry to do.
-Amazing, I put up my broken car and craigslist for 500 bucks, and I've gotten 4 emails in the past 15 minutes
Okay hrmm, interesting funny/stupid/wierd story time.
Here we go, long story but I'll make it short so you get the point.
Ready?
K.
Gay friend is on a road trip with straight friends. Striaight friends decide "ZOMG ASIAN MASSAGE PARLOR, LETS GO GET SOME!"
Friends don't know gay friend is gay, so he goes just to play along.
Gay friend ends up with 40 year old asian woman. Woman offers him sex for 100, blowjob for 75, handjob for 50. Friend declines all. 40 year old asian woman says fine, 40 dollars for handjob, and demands friend gets it, so he gets it.
Long story short. Woman spends next 15 minutes trying to get friend hard, and next 30 minutes after that trying to get him off to no avail.
All three get kicked out of "Massage" Parlor.
Sorry, feeling lazy. It's a lot funnier in person, cuz I do the asian hooker voice real well.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Hi
I like the idea of an alter ego that gets laid all the time. you would totally wake up in bed with really hot women and be like, "hey...you..."
hilarious.
Sorry for your jobs... Hope you find a new one asap!
I'd consider turning to a life of crime since it seems easy. If I ever get caught I could just pick some other asian guy and be like "It was him! You know all us asians look alike!"
Damn! I can't be an asian 'crime girl'... could be easier! It's so expensive being a psychologist...