i watched yet another movie the other day that made me think.
a person in the movie said insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
i am at that point where i am lost, i do not know what else to try. i am past the why bother stage, past the lets try it a different way, i am past it all. hopefully soon i will go senile so i dont have to worry about any of it.
how does one control ones emotions? how does one keep from making the same mistake different ways over and over and over again.
i need to get away from ppl. i dont want to see ppl gettin dates, i dont want to see couples, i dont want to see it.
i know i am such a disappointment. i feel responsible for my fate. a fate of eternal loserness, i hate hearing ppl call themselves a loser when they have no reason to. i think the reason i am having a hard time admitting to myself that i am ugly and will never be with anyone is because i had so much hope and felt i had more potential. i may volunteer to go downrange to get away from this all. away from things i will never have. being deployed is a great escape from unimportant things. i hoped that things would be different when i returned from my last deployment, however they are not. i tried to be happy, i tried to be optimistic, but it has all added to the pain. i try to be there for others, i am too nice, and these are not acceptable. no one is there for me. ppl dont like nice. hell i dont always like nice ppl.
i need to figure this all out.
a person in the movie said insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
i am at that point where i am lost, i do not know what else to try. i am past the why bother stage, past the lets try it a different way, i am past it all. hopefully soon i will go senile so i dont have to worry about any of it.
how does one control ones emotions? how does one keep from making the same mistake different ways over and over and over again.
i need to get away from ppl. i dont want to see ppl gettin dates, i dont want to see couples, i dont want to see it.
i know i am such a disappointment. i feel responsible for my fate. a fate of eternal loserness, i hate hearing ppl call themselves a loser when they have no reason to. i think the reason i am having a hard time admitting to myself that i am ugly and will never be with anyone is because i had so much hope and felt i had more potential. i may volunteer to go downrange to get away from this all. away from things i will never have. being deployed is a great escape from unimportant things. i hoped that things would be different when i returned from my last deployment, however they are not. i tried to be happy, i tried to be optimistic, but it has all added to the pain. i try to be there for others, i am too nice, and these are not acceptable. no one is there for me. ppl dont like nice. hell i dont always like nice ppl.
i need to figure this all out.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Some people love you!
Try to relax a little man, but--much more importantly--try not to be so hard on yourself. People in life are gonna try to take their share of shots at you, so don't add to the barrage, man.
Have you taken your mid-tour yet? If not, I think it's an excellent reason to save up some cash and go on a trip around the Pacific Rim for a month. See some new stuff, meet people, go all-out carefree for a while, you know?