and so the job search is on.
"the only thing worse than having a job is finding one"
i haven't quit yet, not till i find something else, but i can't go on working at this place. i'm using all my energy trying to not let it get to me- the constant complaining from the owner about money, other employees and every petty thing under the sun. the behind-the-back shit talk that goes on, by everyone, about everyone else.
the one thing i have is security. i'm one of three cooks, and while i was going to culinary school they went through 11 people trying to replace me; they don't want me to leave. i've started abusing this security a little bit. i pretty much just sit in the kitchen and smoke, blasting my cds, waiting for orders, not turning it down when one comes...i start way too early or get there late, i leave late, i milk the clock sometimes just cause i know how much it pisses off the owner. anyone who works there will verify - he hasn't the balls to fire me. he just complains to everyone else about it...
the thing is that its degrading to work there - it's an insult to my intelligence, it's an insult to my skill level and it's an insult to my character to even cater to these people. yeah, that sounds shitty, but if you could see it.... i thought it would be like vacation after the hell of being a chef's apprentice, but it's more like prison. shit, i'm considering going back to the country club just to escape the redundancy of fried/burger/chicken fare. i want to make crazy desserts, i want to grill fish, i want to saute vegetables; i want to make beautiful and delicious food in a kitchen that has all the cool toys and ingredients...
once again i feel like a portrait artist forced to draw smiley faces all day long.
aint so bad though, can't get me down, just annoy the hell out of me - my eyes hurt from rolling them so much.
i enrolled today. finally. i really need to go talk to a counselor, make sure that i can graduate after this semester. what a pisser that would be to find out i'm gonna be one credit short...perhaps tomorrow.
my last day of diversion is monday, so i know i have a final piss test coming up. ready to get that over with...i know my buddies have been stashing me up too, which is a very sweet notion, but i'm not too interested in getting all fucked up on a daily basis anymore. i really don't miss it a bit. been working out quite a bit lately. been riding my bike. kinda forgot how much fun it is to ride a bike once you get to the point of being able to walk after pedalling yr ass around for an hour...today i was a 10 year old again, flying around on my bike, zooming across streets to jump the really sweet curbs and cutting through vacant lots. i really should get a helmet.
also been working on a new musical project. that makes three, two of which are completely personal... got the next album i'm working on, "Violent Little Circles", which is musically close to being finished...just need the words. also doing a shorter album called "8 Women" which is a collection of songs about bizarre women who don't really exist in my world. should it be "Ate women?" got a few of em done. they're funny.
"the only thing worse than having a job is finding one"
i haven't quit yet, not till i find something else, but i can't go on working at this place. i'm using all my energy trying to not let it get to me- the constant complaining from the owner about money, other employees and every petty thing under the sun. the behind-the-back shit talk that goes on, by everyone, about everyone else.
the one thing i have is security. i'm one of three cooks, and while i was going to culinary school they went through 11 people trying to replace me; they don't want me to leave. i've started abusing this security a little bit. i pretty much just sit in the kitchen and smoke, blasting my cds, waiting for orders, not turning it down when one comes...i start way too early or get there late, i leave late, i milk the clock sometimes just cause i know how much it pisses off the owner. anyone who works there will verify - he hasn't the balls to fire me. he just complains to everyone else about it...
the thing is that its degrading to work there - it's an insult to my intelligence, it's an insult to my skill level and it's an insult to my character to even cater to these people. yeah, that sounds shitty, but if you could see it.... i thought it would be like vacation after the hell of being a chef's apprentice, but it's more like prison. shit, i'm considering going back to the country club just to escape the redundancy of fried/burger/chicken fare. i want to make crazy desserts, i want to grill fish, i want to saute vegetables; i want to make beautiful and delicious food in a kitchen that has all the cool toys and ingredients...
once again i feel like a portrait artist forced to draw smiley faces all day long.
aint so bad though, can't get me down, just annoy the hell out of me - my eyes hurt from rolling them so much.
i enrolled today. finally. i really need to go talk to a counselor, make sure that i can graduate after this semester. what a pisser that would be to find out i'm gonna be one credit short...perhaps tomorrow.
my last day of diversion is monday, so i know i have a final piss test coming up. ready to get that over with...i know my buddies have been stashing me up too, which is a very sweet notion, but i'm not too interested in getting all fucked up on a daily basis anymore. i really don't miss it a bit. been working out quite a bit lately. been riding my bike. kinda forgot how much fun it is to ride a bike once you get to the point of being able to walk after pedalling yr ass around for an hour...today i was a 10 year old again, flying around on my bike, zooming across streets to jump the really sweet curbs and cutting through vacant lots. i really should get a helmet.
also been working on a new musical project. that makes three, two of which are completely personal... got the next album i'm working on, "Violent Little Circles", which is musically close to being finished...just need the words. also doing a shorter album called "8 Women" which is a collection of songs about bizarre women who don't really exist in my world. should it be "Ate women?" got a few of em done. they're funny.