kloiterra

i didn't think it would bother me much,
i mean, for fuck sake i'm 36--really, who gives a shit anymore
but once i thought about it, it snowballed--
if it wasn't the most horrific time of year to begin with,
to have a birthday in the middle of it all really sucks.
there were a million posts on facebook and all,
but is that really all there is? i don't buy it.
i'm older than the creator of facebook. i carry the curse of appreciating human connection.
in real life and in real time.
i keep notes on a calendar to remind me of the ones i don't automatically remember, and i call them if i know their number. if not, it's a special message at least.
but fuck all that anyway, the point of this is
for the first time in my life, i didn't hear the words "happy birthday" all day.
small beer, yeah, i know,
but still--
i didn't think it would bother me much,
but it did more than a little.