ceremony p 2
Days 2&3 - Saturday and Sunday
before bed, em was going crazy, all fucked up and irrationally-yet-predictably stressed out about the impending ceremony. at one point i saw brad put a xanax in her mouth, a move that looked like it had been well-rehearsed. the morning after, there was no mention of the neuroticism and near-psychosis of the night before. the bridesmaids were out of the cabin by 8, gone to town for hair and makeup. brad, jerry and i had a quick breakfast, then brad and i went to town to take care of some last minute things. we procured signs from the walmarts that would guide the parents from the highway to the cabin, then stopped at the UPS store and had copies made of the ceremony, which i then cut out and pasted into my bible.
now that we're all adults and the playing field has been leveled, i have a lot of fun talking to my friends' parents. brad's folks, big jilm and donna showed up, as well as em's parents joan and dick(i called him "richard" when i called him up to say a prayer during the ceremony).
the only rehearsal/walkthrough happened about an hour before the event. i didn't say all the words, so as to not marry them until the actual ceremony--all it takes is a statement of intent, vows, the pronouncement from the minister and a couple of witnesses to sign a piece of paper saying that all of the preceding events occurred.
i suited up: black on black on black on black with a silverish tie. the ceremony itself was, from my perspective, quick, smooth and painless; just another public speaking assignment, but with added significance. there was a rush of emotion as i led them to recite the vows--it was serious, and i think that when i needed them to the most, they respected the 'power vested in me,' reminding them that the promise they were about to make was not only to each other, but to me, all these witnesses, and (in order to not spark any controversy among the older folks), 'god itself.'
that night, LT, Paris, jerry, june, brad, em and i went swimming. even though the clear, cold, spring-fed river was right there, with vodka drinks in hand, we went to the indoor swimming pool instead. the only people there were matt and april, a couple that were staying in the cabin next to ours. i mostly sat and talked to them while everyone else swam and jacked around in the unsupervised pool. i don't remember what even started the conversation, but it turned out that we were quite like-minded, making conversation fun and easy. after swimming, we realized that there was a big fire pit in the parking area, which our group quickly commandeered. i never even made it over to the fire. i stood and yapped with matt and april about kids and parenting and relationships while everyone else made smores and drank. eventually LT came over and kind of leaned on me. i was sure she was either about to pass out or throw up, but april looked at her and decided it was time to put her to bed: "it's what i'd want someone to do for my daughter..." as she walked LT to the cabin, i called it a class move.
it was probably only midnight when i decided i'd had enough. i was kind of relieved when i got to the cabin and found LT passed out cold. my nipples were still sore from the night before, and i was in no mood for revenge. or flirting. i felt like i had just fallen asleep when i heard the front door slam open, followed by em's voice: "juuuune! i need help! juuuuuuuuuune! help me!" this went on for a few minutes before she started shouting my name: "i got a third degree burn! i may need your phone to call 911! look!" ...not a third degree burn, but she might get a blister. she needed cigarettes and wouldn't shut up about it, so i jumped out of bed again and gave her all the smokes that i had rolled. at a little after 2, she was back in the cabin, even drunker than before, this time apparently brad had used the wrong words. "do you do divorces? i don't want to be married to that faggot," and so on... i didn't know that em had that crazy switch in her, and i realized that after being together for six or so years, brad must really love her to be so tolerant and patient. sometimes she was in the cabin, sometimes she was outside, but i lay in the bed pretending and wishing to be asleep as i couldn't help but listen to her freakout. i've never heard anyone howl like that--i envisioned her out in the parking lot, spinning in place, making a little tornado while she screamed about whatever she was screaming about. this went on until 4am again, and all i could think about was how there was no way in hell i was going canoeing tomorrow before driving the 4 hours home.
Sunday morning came quickly. jerry and june were up, milling around the kitchen when i came downstairs. i noticed that LT was in the exact same position she was in when i'd walked in the night before. jerry told me that he doesn't go out with brad and em when they're drinking because it's always the same as what happened last night. i'd only seen brad a handful of times since i moved here in '07, and had never hung out with them while partying. i vowed to avoid ever doing it; although everyone knows a person is blackout-shitfaced, some of the shit they spout can make others very uncomfortable.
my heavy drinking days are behind me, but looking back, i wonder what i've said in those situations, how i've affected relationships and been completely oblivious to it...
checkout time was 11, so everyone was kind of in a weird rush to gather their things. brad unsuccessfully tried to pawn off some of the huge foil pans of food on everyone. i noticed nobody really was making eye contact, like everyone was a little embarrassed about the night before. rightfully so.
it was really cool hanging out with brad, and like always, it didn't feel like we hadn't been out of contact for as long as we have been. he slipped me a $100 bill and a gram of blond as i put my backpack and my suit into my car--maybe i could do this for a living... as i drove home, i felt like i'd never stopped once i'd gotten in my car on friday, like the whole weekend had just been a crazy rest-stop dream i'd had at some point on this journey.
Days 2&3 - Saturday and Sunday
before bed, em was going crazy, all fucked up and irrationally-yet-predictably stressed out about the impending ceremony. at one point i saw brad put a xanax in her mouth, a move that looked like it had been well-rehearsed. the morning after, there was no mention of the neuroticism and near-psychosis of the night before. the bridesmaids were out of the cabin by 8, gone to town for hair and makeup. brad, jerry and i had a quick breakfast, then brad and i went to town to take care of some last minute things. we procured signs from the walmarts that would guide the parents from the highway to the cabin, then stopped at the UPS store and had copies made of the ceremony, which i then cut out and pasted into my bible.
now that we're all adults and the playing field has been leveled, i have a lot of fun talking to my friends' parents. brad's folks, big jilm and donna showed up, as well as em's parents joan and dick(i called him "richard" when i called him up to say a prayer during the ceremony).
the only rehearsal/walkthrough happened about an hour before the event. i didn't say all the words, so as to not marry them until the actual ceremony--all it takes is a statement of intent, vows, the pronouncement from the minister and a couple of witnesses to sign a piece of paper saying that all of the preceding events occurred.
i suited up: black on black on black on black with a silverish tie. the ceremony itself was, from my perspective, quick, smooth and painless; just another public speaking assignment, but with added significance. there was a rush of emotion as i led them to recite the vows--it was serious, and i think that when i needed them to the most, they respected the 'power vested in me,' reminding them that the promise they were about to make was not only to each other, but to me, all these witnesses, and (in order to not spark any controversy among the older folks), 'god itself.'
that night, LT, Paris, jerry, june, brad, em and i went swimming. even though the clear, cold, spring-fed river was right there, with vodka drinks in hand, we went to the indoor swimming pool instead. the only people there were matt and april, a couple that were staying in the cabin next to ours. i mostly sat and talked to them while everyone else swam and jacked around in the unsupervised pool. i don't remember what even started the conversation, but it turned out that we were quite like-minded, making conversation fun and easy. after swimming, we realized that there was a big fire pit in the parking area, which our group quickly commandeered. i never even made it over to the fire. i stood and yapped with matt and april about kids and parenting and relationships while everyone else made smores and drank. eventually LT came over and kind of leaned on me. i was sure she was either about to pass out or throw up, but april looked at her and decided it was time to put her to bed: "it's what i'd want someone to do for my daughter..." as she walked LT to the cabin, i called it a class move.
it was probably only midnight when i decided i'd had enough. i was kind of relieved when i got to the cabin and found LT passed out cold. my nipples were still sore from the night before, and i was in no mood for revenge. or flirting. i felt like i had just fallen asleep when i heard the front door slam open, followed by em's voice: "juuuune! i need help! juuuuuuuuuune! help me!" this went on for a few minutes before she started shouting my name: "i got a third degree burn! i may need your phone to call 911! look!" ...not a third degree burn, but she might get a blister. she needed cigarettes and wouldn't shut up about it, so i jumped out of bed again and gave her all the smokes that i had rolled. at a little after 2, she was back in the cabin, even drunker than before, this time apparently brad had used the wrong words. "do you do divorces? i don't want to be married to that faggot," and so on... i didn't know that em had that crazy switch in her, and i realized that after being together for six or so years, brad must really love her to be so tolerant and patient. sometimes she was in the cabin, sometimes she was outside, but i lay in the bed pretending and wishing to be asleep as i couldn't help but listen to her freakout. i've never heard anyone howl like that--i envisioned her out in the parking lot, spinning in place, making a little tornado while she screamed about whatever she was screaming about. this went on until 4am again, and all i could think about was how there was no way in hell i was going canoeing tomorrow before driving the 4 hours home.
Sunday morning came quickly. jerry and june were up, milling around the kitchen when i came downstairs. i noticed that LT was in the exact same position she was in when i'd walked in the night before. jerry told me that he doesn't go out with brad and em when they're drinking because it's always the same as what happened last night. i'd only seen brad a handful of times since i moved here in '07, and had never hung out with them while partying. i vowed to avoid ever doing it; although everyone knows a person is blackout-shitfaced, some of the shit they spout can make others very uncomfortable.
my heavy drinking days are behind me, but looking back, i wonder what i've said in those situations, how i've affected relationships and been completely oblivious to it...
checkout time was 11, so everyone was kind of in a weird rush to gather their things. brad unsuccessfully tried to pawn off some of the huge foil pans of food on everyone. i noticed nobody really was making eye contact, like everyone was a little embarrassed about the night before. rightfully so.
it was really cool hanging out with brad, and like always, it didn't feel like we hadn't been out of contact for as long as we have been. he slipped me a $100 bill and a gram of blond as i put my backpack and my suit into my car--maybe i could do this for a living... as i drove home, i felt like i'd never stopped once i'd gotten in my car on friday, like the whole weekend had just been a crazy rest-stop dream i'd had at some point on this journey.