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kloiterra

Sperm, originally...

Member Since 2004

Followers 21 Following 32

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Friday Aug 13, 2010

Aug 13, 2010
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i'm in a constant state of assumption that everything is temporary.
sometimes i forget that i believe this, usually at the beginning of things.
change is good and inevitable and constant and all, but i try to keep it subtle--that's how i like it. i don't want to be changed much, but july arrived to the party with a few larger-than-subtle shapeshifters in its hands.
just as i predicted, ma bitchez spewed forth her litter while lupita and i were in cedar rapids. she finally showed back up, all sleek and skinny and hungry. she only showed up a few more times after the following weekend, when i was away again, this time camping in somo. comparing calendars, i noticed that she stopped coming around at about the same time miel did the year before.
i admit, i broke most of the rules regarding caring for strays. as a result, i still kind of miss the cat. i never even got to see her kittens.
on the other side of town, work has become quite crazy. it's hard enough to think about--i don't even know how to begin to encapsulate what goes on there into words that would find their way to making a coherent point...i've certainly been doing a lot of it though.
the last week of the july show revolved around the events that lead up to the suspenseful season finale of the big show.
highlights from the most recent episode:
"I hope that if she wants to break up with you," my mother worried, "that she doesn't feel obligated to stay with you because of your family's involvement...we really just jumped right in with her, didn't we?"
the montage:
my stepfather volunteered to paint lupe's truck for the cost of supplies. all we had to do was the preparatory wet-sanding. then when lupita bought her little box made of ticky-tacky in capital city, she was faced with the problem of being required to move out of her rental before the end of the month, but didn't close on her house until a week into the next month. my parents volunteered to drive down, help load up all of her stuff on their trailer, then haul it back and store it at their house until lupe could move in to her new place. lupita stayed at my house for what turned out to be an 11-day span, and when she finally got the keys, my folks hauled all her stuff to her new place and helped us unload it.
"I hope your family doesn't think that I'm taking advantage of them," came lupita's concern into the other ear.
perhaps us staying together for that long after having been practically attached at the hip for eight months wasn't the greatest idea; our smooth, successful cohabitation made her last night here fairly rough. the knowledge of the impending cold turkey made it feel significant and heavy, like something was indeed ending, when all it really is is another minor adaptation in a string of more-frequent-than-usual changes--she's not even an hour away.
...heart v. head again, again, again.
i celebrate the idea of change, i generally like it after it has happened, going through it is no joyride, though.
although a uniquely flavored slice of life, july's twists were mostly artificial, just variations on business as usual; it all amounts to nothing more than the routine ups and downs of conscious existence. always something to look forward to, always something to mourn, i consider it a good thing that there's still fascination at the constantly changing face of that which grows to be routine, and i'm glad that either it's not allowing itself or i'm not allowing it to become recognizable. whatever it is, i'll take it.

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