i keep hearing "i didn't sign up for this" come out of my mouth.
that's a lie.
i was in the stagnant suck when i wished for a big change; it was one of those wishes you make under yr breath without really thinking it through.
i can't help but to think that the same invisible hand that drives consumer economics also guides all movements and decisions made when the conscious mind has resigned. that invisible hand is self interest. everything fell apart, things started getting ugly, wishes were made, change happened.
for the first couple of weeks that we'd been hanging out, whenever i'd think about her, another name would come to mind at first. i told her that i was afraid that i might slip and call her Beth. she didn't seem to mind. anyway, tonight is the first night since giftmas that i haven't seen Lupe. i'm not used to that kind of complete immersion to anything. not that i don't like it, but i'm not sure if there's anyone i want to see every day, and i certainly don't want to do the same thing, go through the same routine every day--i get cramped and bitchy. we've discussed it; it had been on my mind when she brought it up, signaling that she needs some alone time as well.
i'm trying to not overthink it, but i believe that she'd agree that the core of this company merger thing is the same reason she started hanging out with me in the first place--we have that common interest that is forbidden at her house. part of my self interest is the same as hers, see...
also, the benefits package her company offers is very nice.
the new workyjob continues, but it has changed in a few ways too. Chef and Virgil got fired in early january and randy stepped up as main man...look for him in this year's award ceremony. the restaurant will never be what it was going to be, but at least i'm given the freedom to make things the way i want. i'm still enjoying baking the bread, but that and banquet prep is all i really want to do. no, that's a lie; i want to do everything except open the kitchen and cook on the line.
i was even ok with minimum wage for some sort of probationary period, but after the weekend shifts i covered, the tasks involved, the astute skills, knowledge, acumen and creativity i demonstrated, the sheer awesomeness of the food i produced, and despite the (only slightly)exaggerated descriptions i provided, i feel taken advantage of. at a real restaurant in a real city, i'd probably be making twice what i'm making and actually doing less work. but i don't live in a real city and i work for people with less training and weaker ethic. opinion is what is only apparent to you.
i enrolled when i found out that spring semester had started...i thought i had another week. i officially changed my major to English and took Psych as my minor. my schedule looks like Psych classes and Spanish. my Spanish teacher is kind of a drinking buddy of mine; a bar buddy. between that familiarity, the facts that i speak a fair amount already and Lupe is a Spanish teacher, i think i have no excuse for failing Spanish. one of my Psych classes is the majors/minors version of the same one i've been taking and dropping/failing for the last two semesters. it uses the same book. Abnormal Psych is looking fun, and Art Appreciation is sure to be a good time. i've been using this new technique i call "show up to class," and so far it's been working flawlessly. interesting.
a busy month so far, but it looks entirely different than any of the ones i've seen.
that's a lie.
i was in the stagnant suck when i wished for a big change; it was one of those wishes you make under yr breath without really thinking it through.
i can't help but to think that the same invisible hand that drives consumer economics also guides all movements and decisions made when the conscious mind has resigned. that invisible hand is self interest. everything fell apart, things started getting ugly, wishes were made, change happened.
for the first couple of weeks that we'd been hanging out, whenever i'd think about her, another name would come to mind at first. i told her that i was afraid that i might slip and call her Beth. she didn't seem to mind. anyway, tonight is the first night since giftmas that i haven't seen Lupe. i'm not used to that kind of complete immersion to anything. not that i don't like it, but i'm not sure if there's anyone i want to see every day, and i certainly don't want to do the same thing, go through the same routine every day--i get cramped and bitchy. we've discussed it; it had been on my mind when she brought it up, signaling that she needs some alone time as well.
i'm trying to not overthink it, but i believe that she'd agree that the core of this company merger thing is the same reason she started hanging out with me in the first place--we have that common interest that is forbidden at her house. part of my self interest is the same as hers, see...
also, the benefits package her company offers is very nice.
the new workyjob continues, but it has changed in a few ways too. Chef and Virgil got fired in early january and randy stepped up as main man...look for him in this year's award ceremony. the restaurant will never be what it was going to be, but at least i'm given the freedom to make things the way i want. i'm still enjoying baking the bread, but that and banquet prep is all i really want to do. no, that's a lie; i want to do everything except open the kitchen and cook on the line.
i was even ok with minimum wage for some sort of probationary period, but after the weekend shifts i covered, the tasks involved, the astute skills, knowledge, acumen and creativity i demonstrated, the sheer awesomeness of the food i produced, and despite the (only slightly)exaggerated descriptions i provided, i feel taken advantage of. at a real restaurant in a real city, i'd probably be making twice what i'm making and actually doing less work. but i don't live in a real city and i work for people with less training and weaker ethic. opinion is what is only apparent to you.
i enrolled when i found out that spring semester had started...i thought i had another week. i officially changed my major to English and took Psych as my minor. my schedule looks like Psych classes and Spanish. my Spanish teacher is kind of a drinking buddy of mine; a bar buddy. between that familiarity, the facts that i speak a fair amount already and Lupe is a Spanish teacher, i think i have no excuse for failing Spanish. one of my Psych classes is the majors/minors version of the same one i've been taking and dropping/failing for the last two semesters. it uses the same book. Abnormal Psych is looking fun, and Art Appreciation is sure to be a good time. i've been using this new technique i call "show up to class," and so far it's been working flawlessly. interesting.
a busy month so far, but it looks entirely different than any of the ones i've seen.