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kloiterra

Sperm, originally...

Member Since 2004

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Thursday Oct 29, 2009

Oct 29, 2009
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Maybe the last one about shaving:

...but is it really superior?
what makes it so, just because it's the old way?
the more i delve into the zen-like state of taking a 30 minute shave,
the more i think that this is nothing more than a brilliant marketing scheme.
is it really worth the time and effort?
if my suspicions are correct, the shriners are behind this.

it seems to be a plausible scenario: a bunch of dirty old men in their secret club were sitting around one day, doing whatever it is they do, talking about whatever it is they talk about with their fez hats and little code books while their tiny parade cars are being serviced by tiny orange men in the garage.
"gee, bob, how are we going to make enough money to supply the baby blood that we need for our initiation ritual at the temple next quarter?" **
"well, terry, i have an idea. there are approximately 135 million men in the United States. on the safe side, we'll say 60% of those males shave. that's 81 million men. of those, there's a significant section that would be interested in outdated, or, "vintage" shaving techniques and tools. we'll market it as a "gentleman's art." it makes perfect sense: we'll convince unsuspecting men that their 5-minute, baby-smooth shave that they receive from modern, multi-blade cartridges is, in fact, inferior to the shave to which their grandfathers were accustomed. we'll set up websites and forums, create legions of believers, from novices to elitists, to sell the idea of buying expensive badger-hair lather brushes, vintage-style safety razors and handcrafted straight razors for those who really buy in to the idea. plus, we'll slander cheap shaving creams and promote fancy, overpriced concoctions made specifically for the vintage wet shave. if we get even a portion of this crowd to buy in, a huge chunk of our monetary worries will be absolved."
"brilliant!" they all agreed.

the money continues to roll in as i stand in front of the mirror making the minimum required 8 passes with a double-edged circa-1950s-style safety razor.
somehow, i now feel ashamed when i'm tempted to pull out the trusty old Mach 3 and finish in two minutes what now takes 30. despite the fact that in five minutes with a simple Lever 2000 lather and a Mach 3 razor, i could get absolutely smooth in the shower in two passes, it now feels like i'm cheating when i use the modern razor; like i'm taking the easy way out.
but in this case is the old way really superior?
i want to say yes because i'm a fan of most things old-school, razor blades are a hell of a lot cheaper than cartridges, and i'm a firm believer in how concrete and significant things seem when enough ritual is added:
priming the brush, making the warm lather, applying the lather, shaving with, across, then against the grain, each time reapplying a nice layer of warm, scented lather, then repeating the process again and again until i'm satisfied with the shave.
BUT IS IT REALLY SUPERIOR?
no, probably not, but it's really all about how you look at it...i'm not really in that much of a hurry. i tell myself that just as with my fountain pens, using the old-school razor just requires learning a new technique; that before too many more shaves, i'll be getting that baby-smooth shave that i'm accustomed to without killing most of an hour and being thankful that i was given a styptic pencil(i hadn't cut myself shaving in years before this). not that it's an unpleasant experience, i'm just not certain that the time in front of the mirror is worth the ritual.
either way, i'm far enough into it that i'll probably not go back to the modern razor. after 10 or so shaves, i'm getting better and better at it, learning what and what not to do. i won't throw away the Mach 3 just yet though...there is one place that i refuse to put an exposed razor blade...
i can guarantee my grandfather never tried to shave his balls.


** this statement not based on fact.

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