in the mood for some rambling overanalyzation of something that isn't that important? there is no real point, was just clearing some of the clutter from my head and realized i'd been thinking about this quite a bit lately.
"nice" and "kind"--interchangeable terms? i think not always.
it's comparable to how most people say "spicy" to describe hot food.
a blaring example: pumpkin pie is spicy, habanero peppers are hot.
call it nitpicking if you will, that's acceptable, but one of the things i love most about language is the ability to say exactly what you mean by understanding fully all of these simple words and building the vocabulary in order to be able to say exactly what you mean. the danger of it is realizing that often, people say one thing and mean another thing. at this point, the "i know what you mean" section of our brains(Broca's and Wernicke's areas), let us decipher the information and even to allow for further nitpicking, depending on whether yr nice or kind.
anyway, i've often been described as, and therefore always considered myself to be a nice guy, but what i'm realizing is that i'm not very nice at all. what it is at my core is kindness, and i've been mulling it around, trying to pinpoint the exact differences between nice and kind. what alerted me to this is the fact that i find nice people rather annoying, but have never rolled my eyes at acts of kindness.
niceness, to me, often seems like a synthetic form of kindness.
this isn't an all-encompassing distinction--some things are truly nice, but one of my examples is why i have always referred to a girl i know as "my mormon friend." she's not mormon, but is smothering, asphyxiatingly nice, like every mormon i've ever met--it seems forced and fake. if you can say something nice to someone's face, then talk shit as soon as they walk away, that's being nice, not being kind. i think it's important to realize that it is completely ok to be an asshole sometimes--some situations beg for you to be one for the sake of everything and everyone involved. it's kind of fun even. i find that when i walk away from one of those situations after having gone ahead and said the nice thing, the good feeling of having not momentarily crushed someone's hopes, dreams or mood is outshined by the fact that i lied. wouldn't it be better to give that person something to contemplate, maybe a chance to reevaluate certain aspects of themselves and perhaps better themselves? if that were the case, then maybe people would be less annoying in general and we could always just tell the truth. it's commonly noted that 'the truth hurts.' i think that's bunk. if the truth hurts, you need to change. otherwise, how can you ever be true to yrself and happy with the result?
i'm not malicious, mean for my own amusement or for the sake of being mean, but i am a very truthful, honest person. i entertain thoughts like "no, that dress doesn't make you look fat, yr fat makes the dress look uncomfortable," but the kindness in me recognizes social grace as well. that's where it gets complicated. now there's only a fine distinction between nice and kind. is it nice or kind to be considerate of others' feelings at all times? i guess that's up to you and yr true feelings toward the people with whom you interact. 'considerate' itself is another term that helps blur the line between nice and kind.
in life, they say 'nice guys finish last,' and that's often the case because so many nice people are too weak to stand up for themselves. the asshole will throw an elbow in yr eye to keep you from passing them in the big race...kindness can only be turned against you and used as a weakness if you allow it to happen.
now apply that statement to the bedroom--do nice guys finish last or do considerate guys finish last?
maybe it's a little bit of both.
i always considered myself to be an attentive, considerate lover, but maybe i'm just a nice guy after all.
"nice" and "kind"--interchangeable terms? i think not always.
it's comparable to how most people say "spicy" to describe hot food.
a blaring example: pumpkin pie is spicy, habanero peppers are hot.
call it nitpicking if you will, that's acceptable, but one of the things i love most about language is the ability to say exactly what you mean by understanding fully all of these simple words and building the vocabulary in order to be able to say exactly what you mean. the danger of it is realizing that often, people say one thing and mean another thing. at this point, the "i know what you mean" section of our brains(Broca's and Wernicke's areas), let us decipher the information and even to allow for further nitpicking, depending on whether yr nice or kind.
anyway, i've often been described as, and therefore always considered myself to be a nice guy, but what i'm realizing is that i'm not very nice at all. what it is at my core is kindness, and i've been mulling it around, trying to pinpoint the exact differences between nice and kind. what alerted me to this is the fact that i find nice people rather annoying, but have never rolled my eyes at acts of kindness.
niceness, to me, often seems like a synthetic form of kindness.
this isn't an all-encompassing distinction--some things are truly nice, but one of my examples is why i have always referred to a girl i know as "my mormon friend." she's not mormon, but is smothering, asphyxiatingly nice, like every mormon i've ever met--it seems forced and fake. if you can say something nice to someone's face, then talk shit as soon as they walk away, that's being nice, not being kind. i think it's important to realize that it is completely ok to be an asshole sometimes--some situations beg for you to be one for the sake of everything and everyone involved. it's kind of fun even. i find that when i walk away from one of those situations after having gone ahead and said the nice thing, the good feeling of having not momentarily crushed someone's hopes, dreams or mood is outshined by the fact that i lied. wouldn't it be better to give that person something to contemplate, maybe a chance to reevaluate certain aspects of themselves and perhaps better themselves? if that were the case, then maybe people would be less annoying in general and we could always just tell the truth. it's commonly noted that 'the truth hurts.' i think that's bunk. if the truth hurts, you need to change. otherwise, how can you ever be true to yrself and happy with the result?
i'm not malicious, mean for my own amusement or for the sake of being mean, but i am a very truthful, honest person. i entertain thoughts like "no, that dress doesn't make you look fat, yr fat makes the dress look uncomfortable," but the kindness in me recognizes social grace as well. that's where it gets complicated. now there's only a fine distinction between nice and kind. is it nice or kind to be considerate of others' feelings at all times? i guess that's up to you and yr true feelings toward the people with whom you interact. 'considerate' itself is another term that helps blur the line between nice and kind.
in life, they say 'nice guys finish last,' and that's often the case because so many nice people are too weak to stand up for themselves. the asshole will throw an elbow in yr eye to keep you from passing them in the big race...kindness can only be turned against you and used as a weakness if you allow it to happen.
now apply that statement to the bedroom--do nice guys finish last or do considerate guys finish last?
maybe it's a little bit of both.
i always considered myself to be an attentive, considerate lover, but maybe i'm just a nice guy after all.