kloiterra

been craving a few days that held nothing on their to do lists.
spring semester into summer semester into family reunion into two funerals is how it's been going.
been thinking about her still, despite the distractions of traveling, playing, writing and rock-star style partying.
told her we'd get together and talk when i returned.
thought she liked me. thought maybe she ended it the way she did to achieve instant closure. thought she'd be excited to see me again.
drifting farther the whole time i decided that i'd offer her a second chance, maybe we could start over.
five senses miss her, the sixth does not; maybe it was nothing more than the pleasant convenience.
i have to remind myself that we didn't really have anything in common
we didn't really have anything to talk about
she was indifferent to my goals and non-sexual passions
and didn't appear to have any of her own.
the facts: diffident small dreamer, nonexpresser, excessive apologizer, can talk for hours about nothing when she's tired, doesn't talk about much, especially anything important or memorable otherwise.
it's always been difficult for me to focus on the negative in memories.
i texted her yesterday afternoon, "let me know when a good time to get together if you still want."
no reply. my next message will be "never mind."
the momentary mantra is "what is done is done. take a picture and a souvenir then keep moving."